Fallout (Crank 3)

but it isn’t hard to let

all that stored anger But it’s hard to talk

come rippling out. about resentment,

I should get help. bottled up inside.

I have it easier than

most people. So why

feel sorry for myself?

Not like very many

people have intact

families. One parent

or the other is likely Looking at it that way,

absent. Shacked up I’m pretty normal. So

Knocked up. Fucked up. why do I feel like some

sort of a freak? Bigger

question: Why take it

out on people I love?

ALL THIS FILTERS THROUGH

My brain in the time it takes

Mom to cream two cups of

butter with two cups of brown

sugar, add two eggs, and beat

well. And despite every warning,

once the mixer noise stops,

I have to spout words I swore

to keep to myself so as not to

hurt her. “I met my father.”

Well, of course you met your

f—, she starts, back to me.

Her shoulders tense, and very

slowly, she turns toward me.