Fallout (Crank 3)

Dad and I haven’t talked in years,

at least not about stuff that matters.

And the last time we laughed

together? I really can’t remember.

I want

us to be close again. We were

when I was young. Then, I guess,

I made him into “the enemy,”

the one who said no to giving me

money (for weed) or borrowing

the car (to party). What I forgot was

his love.

GOD, I’M MAUDLIN TODAY

Must be all the obvious Christmas cheer,

and how it doesn’t cheer me. Mom has

always been big on making the house

look Good Housekeeping gorgeous.

Electric trains. Ceramic villages.

Multicolored garland and lights,

strung on banisters and door jambs.

The tree, a twelve-foot blue spruce,

is hung with ornaments collected for

almost forty years. Wreaths. Poinsettias,

in four shades and varied heights.

Candles in holiday colors, scented

cranberry and bayberry and vanilla.

And outside? Colored lights and white

icicle lights and a giant lit Santa’s sleigh.

You can see this place clear across

the valley. When I was a kid, I loved