Fallout (Crank 3)

it eats holes in your brain? Well,

it does. And it eats them in the part

of the brain that controls emotions.

But even beyond that. I think the more

she has failed at things like relationships

and parenting, the more she has cut

herself off from feeling bad about those

things. And if you don’t let yourself feel

bad, sooner or later you stop feeling

good, too. You insulate yourself. Build

up layers, like stacking paper, everything

growing heavier. And when the weight

becomes too much, those layers compress.

Become hard. Sad, really, to think that

Kristina has turned herself into cardboard.

Autumn

PRETTY MUCH MISERABLE

That’s how this trip has been,

not that I expected better.

Long, boring stretches of asphalt.

Landscape, mostly scrubbed of life,

at least until around thirty miles

ago. Then low desert gave way

to squat evergreens, hints of real

forest to the west, along the spine

of the Sierra Nevada. So far,

the weather has done nothing

more than loom, threatening.

But we keep heading north,

toward crazy-looking storm clouds.