I mean to my mother? Why
can’t I open my mouth and ask?
Summer
BEEN THINKING
So much about where I might
be going, I’ve kind of neglected
thinking about where I came from.
Wonder how Christmas was for Ashante.
Did Santa visit? Does she still believe,
despite having her innocence stolen?
What about Simone? Did Bear and Blonde
deliver? How about Eliana and Rosa,
sisters who I never really got to know.
Sisters missing their mother. At least
they have each other. And now that I have
a sister, will we have each other too?
We will not, I predict, ever have a mom,
not the kind who we’ll sit down at dinner
with. Except for on holidays, that is.
I wish Kyle were here to share this
holiday dinner. Wonder what hospital
turkey is like. Wonder if he is lonely.
NOT MUCH ROOM
For loneliness here.
The table is heaped
with food, surrounded
by four generations
of family. It’s sensory
detail, maxed. Perfume
of Christmas feast.