Friend-Zoned (Friend-Zoned 1)

My doorbell no longer sounds like a cat in heat, now it’s more like a mooing cow. Today is Wednesday and is the one day a week I’m alone in the store.

I smile and look to the door. What I see there makes my smile disappear and my heart sinks.

Miss She-Devil (from the dress return debacle) saunters over to the counter.

Oh, Dear Lord. Please give me strength.

I smile stronger this time and ask, “Good Morning, Miss. How are you today?”

She smiles back and replies “Oh, I’m great Hon. How are you today?”

Uh, What?

I’m immediately suspicious of her because she’s smiling like the cat that got the cream.

I say, “Well, we aren’t too busy today so I guess we could be better. What can I help you with?”

She responds, “I just wanted to come over here and apologize for my rude behavior the other day. It was totally unacceptable and I’m really truly sorry. ” She’s trying to look contrite but it comes off as constipated.

I’m shocked. I stutter my response, “Um, wow. I, ah, thank you. That’s really nice of you to do that. ”

Then it comes.

She puts on a sad smile and sighs. “I know you understand as a woman, we like to wear nice dresses for our men. But three hundred dollars for the dress I bought was probably overkill. ” She laughs a bit too cheerfully and places a hand on her cheek. “I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. My husband owns the club across the street and that dress was far too formal to wear there. He didn’t even

look at it twice. ”

What. The. Hell. Did she just say she was Nik’s wife?!

I take a close look at her. She can fake sweet pretty well. If she were auditioning someplace, I’d be impressed.

She is thin, a little taller than me and maybe a year or two older. Her long bleach blonde her is bordering silver. Her eyes are blue and look ice cold.

She-Devil sighs hard and musters up the sweetest voice she can and tells me, “It would be such a huge help if you would please take the dress off my hands. I made a mistake and I promise I’ll never do it again. ” She sounds like a five year old. “My husband is really mad at me. I really need that money back. ”

This doesn’t make sense to me.

Firstly, why would Nik care about a measly three hundred dollar dress when his shirts are silk and probably cost that much for a single shirt?

Secondly, he owns the club! The club is very popular (according to Mimi); they can’t be strapped for cash.

The confrontation flush I get is already attacking my chest and climbing up my neck.

I clear my throat and say, “I understand you have a predicament and I’m very sorry for you. Even if I take the dress from you I can’t re-sell it. If I can’t re-sell it, I can’t offer you a refund. So unfortunately, my answer is still no. ” Somewhere deep within me courage blooms, “And that is my final answer. ”

She-Devil’s murderous scowl reappears.

Oh, hey you! There you are! I’ve missed you.

She hisses at me, “This is BULLSHIT! You think you’re so high and mighty in your damn clothing store. Well, guess what? Your clothes look like shit. I’ve seen better shirts at Target! You think you’ve seen the last of me, think again! I’ll be back every damn day til you give in. And you will, Honey. ” She looks me down at me, smirks, and says, “I suggest you lose twenty pounds if you want to look good in the clothes you sell. ”

And then she’s gone.

Oh, Hell no!

Shit just got serious.

I walk into the staff room, grab my keys, lock up and I’m out the door.