Friend-Zoned (Friend-Zoned 1)

Nat and I start squealing for a different reason and we both hit the floor and I cover my head.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Max booms; he looks angry.

I croak hoarsely, “Why do you have a gun, Max?”

He looks around the room and takes in the scene before him. Chest heaving, he lowers his gun hand to his chest. He speaks a strained, “Holy shit babe, you scared the fuckin’ shit outta me. ”

I reply a shrill, “I scared you? I’m not holding a gun!”

He puts the gun in his waistband and holds out a hand to both me and Nat.

We take his hands and he pulls us both up. He puts him arms around both our shoulders and explains, “I was at the coffee shop and I heard you screamin’ like a freakin’ loon. I thought someone was hurtin’ you. I dropped my damn coffee all over Winnie’s floor and ran the fuck over here. That’s why I had my gun out. ”

My face turns soft. I say, “It doesn’t explain about the gun but I’m glad you were ready to help me, hon. ”

Max smiles, dimple and all. He responds, “Who would make me cupcakes then?”

Nat smiles as says, “Ahh, she got you with her cupcakes. ”

Max looks down at her and exclaims, “Wow. You’re really pretty! I’m Max. ”

Nat corrects, “Actually, I’m not ‘Really Pretty’. I’m Natalie. I moved from Cali to be closer to my best friend and that’s the welcome I get?” She chuckles, “Only in New York. ”

Max looks properly chastened and apologizes. “I’m sorry, ma’am. It won’t happen again. ”

Nat makes a positively ghastly face at him and spits, “You’re damn right it won’t! If you call me ma’am again I’ll punch you in the face. ”

Max puts his arms up in retreat and utters, “Okay! Okay! Yeesh! Well, now that I know you ladies are safe and sound, I’ll be on my way. ”

He backs out of the store room. I look over at Nat, smile and shrug.

Only in New York.

***

Laughing so hard I’m clutching my ribs, I let Max finish his story.

“And they both hit the freakin’ floor like I was goin’ postal or some shit. ” He’s laughing as hard as I am as he continues, “Then, get this Nik, I make the mistake of callin’ her friend ma’am and she threatens to punch me in the face!”

Ghost is reading the newspaper but he’s chuckling, too. Trick’s face is bright red and he’s wheezing, he thinks this is as hilarious as I think it is.

Ghost lifts his face and frowns. He asks “What is it with chicks and squealing?”

Trick answers “It’s their version of when a dog gets so excited it pees. ”

Max face turns serious as he tells us “You should see the friend though. Mmmm, nice. Tina is cute as all get out with a great ass. Mimi is sexy but scary as hell. Natalie is just plain sexy. And there was another girl there who was a little young but just as fine. ” He turns to me and smirks, “I’m really glad you decided to be friends with Tina. ”

***

With Nat here, I get inventory done in 2 short hours. Work goes quickly when you’re gabbing away with an old friend.

After a year apart she still looks the same to me except her hair is longer and dyed a deep magenta, some would call it violet. People always ask us if we’re sisters; we have the same eye shape and green eyes. Except my eyes have a dark rim around them and are lighter, hers are bright grass green.

I’ve told her all about The White Rabbit and the guys. I’m surprised when she doesn’t question me about Max and his gun but I’m glad because I honestly wouldn’t know how to answer her.

I ask her if she can steam some new items and she seems really excited to be put to work. After showing her how to use a professional steamer and warning her about steam burns (which I have had many of), I leave her to it.

The red mailbox on the computer flashes. I find one unread email.