Friend-Zoned (Friend-Zoned 1)

Yeah, I like kissing Tina. No, I love kissing Tina. Then she pushed herself up on my hard-on. I almost came like the story I told about my fifteen year old self losing my virginity.

…aaand you’re hard. Happy now?

Knowing she’d only ever been with the one guy and hasn’t been with him in five years. It made me feel good. Too good. Like, good that you shouldn’t feel about your friends good.

Goddamn it. I don’t know how it even happened. One minute we were laughing, the next I was pushing her up against the wall.

A sudden urge overcomes me.

I have to see her. I need to try and explain myself. I don’t know how I’m going to do that without explaining I’m getting some really strong feelings for her. And I know that’s not what she wants.

But what if she does want it?

If I knew Tina wanted to be with me, I’d snatch her up in a heartbeat. I got those kinds of feelings for her. The one feelings. I can’t believe it myself. The thought of her being with someone else makes acid burn my gut. I want to punch the wall just thinking about it.

What a mess.

All because of goofy wax lips. I smile at the memory. This adorable little woman being dragged into my office by Max, too shy to even look at me then declaring me her friend… So much has changed. Never met anyone like her in my life. So giving with her heart. I’ll do anything to protect that heart. I want it to be mine to protect.

I smile to myself.

Got to go see my girl.

***

I see Nik exit The White Rabbit and a chill sweeps through me as my hands start to sweat.

What if he tells me we can’t be friends anymore?

I would just die. Actually drop dead and die.

I knew he was in his office yesterday and if I really wanted to I know Max wouldn’t have stopped me from barging in and demanding he talk to me. But I wanted to respect his privacy. He didn’t want to see me for a reason.

This morning when I sent him a message asking to get sushi together I was hoping we could get on like nothing happened.

I know he regrets the most amazing kiss of my life. Which kind of sucks but having thought about it over the past two days, I’m okay with it. I was hoping Nik would be my one. I built him up so much in my mind I didn’t stop to protect myself from him. After all, look at how he treats Sissy? If he were to screw me and leave me, I’d be broken. I’ve been there before, it isn’t nice. I’m damaged goods because of it. It sucks to feel safe with someone and have them walk away like you’re nothing to them. That hurts. Like, really hurts. But I would’ve taken the risk with Nik.

Am I destined to be that girl?

You know, that girl who loves once and then hates love and everybody in love when her relationship takes a nose dive?

No! Hell, I hope not.

I don’t want to become a crazy cat lady!

Nik regrets the kiss. That’s fine. I’ll be his friend if he’ll let me. I miss him already.

Rawr Raaawr

“Gotta fix that damn bell, babe. ” I look over to the doorway and Nik is flashing that charming smile at me. I don’t know why but I run over to him and jump into his arms. I wra

p my legs high on his waist and hug him hard.

It’s that damn dimple. It’s magical!

“Holy hell, babe. It’s only been three days,” he chuckles at me.

The nerve!