I smile at her and shake my head. She lowers her head and bites her lip to stop from giggling. She looks back up and I wink at her.
Our little secret, baby girl.
I see Tina look around the table. She wears a smile and looks content. I like it.
It takes me back to the day she explained why she didn’t open a bakery. How she explained that baking for people is a gift she likes to give and everything she makes contains a small piece of her. I guess cooking for friends makes her feel the same.
She turns her face to look at me and catches me staring. She pokes her tongue out at me.
I want to suck on that tongue.
I totally do. I think about that kiss all the freakin’ time; her soft lips and sweet tongue on my lips and in my mouth. And, dammit, I want it to happen again. But Tina made it clear she was only settling some curiosity in her, that’s all. Which sucks ass.
We’ve finished eating and I motion for Max and Ghost to help me clear up. The girls get up too, but I quickly explain, “In our family, whoever cooks does not clean up. Mom’s rules. You girls get ready for work. ”
Nat walks over to Ghost and smacks his butt hard. She kisses Max’s cheek then mine. Tina kisses all of our cheeks and Ghost even smiled at her. Then they walk down to their rooms to get ready for work.
***
When we get to the store, I send Nat to Winnie’s for coffee. As soon as she returns, we open up and I tell Nat how I molested Nik while he has sleeping.
She laughs a full minute at me then says chuckling, “I’m pretty sure you consentingly molested each other!” She looks happy for me. “So, you finally found your big O again! How was it?”
I couldn’t put it into words. It was indescribable. I respond, “Absolutely amazing. Too bad he didn’t even know about it, though. ”
Nat’s face turns thoughtful. “You trust Nik, right?”
I don’t hesitate and answer, “Yes. ”
She turns my shoulders so we’re face to face and strokes my hair. She asks, “Then why can’t you have some fun with him. You have amazing chemistry together. You can’t deny that. And personally, I like the idea of you two together. He’s a family man. ”
I know what she means by this. She means he would take care of me if I were to get pregnant. He wouldn’t be like Jace. And she’s right. But I don’t want children again. Never again.
I stroke her hair right back and smile as I say, “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with Ghost?”
She sighs dramatically and replies, “Don’t even go there. It was a one-time thing. We hate each other. ”
I put my hand on her shoulder, squeeze and remind her, “Hate is such a strong word. Don’t you think? Besides, you know what they say, there’s a thin line between love and hate. How was the sex?”
Nat’s eyes squint, she bunches her face and smiles. She whispers, “It was incredible. I’ve never had crazy monkey sex before. But I don’t know if it was good because it was intense or because it was with Ghost. I don’t even know what happened. One second I was walking back to the booth from the bathroom the next Ghost was dragging me to the conference room. It was out of this world. ” Her face turns serious. “He said he didn’t like me playing with Max when I should be playing with him. ”
I lean back and fan myself with my hand then I lean forward and whisper, “Holy smokes! I don’t know about that dominant stuff but that made me hot just from talking about it!” And we giggle our asses off.
Still smiling, she questions, “Why not just sleep with Nik and see where it goes? If nothing comes of it you’re both mature enough to walk away being friends. Even if nothing serious comes of it you can have a lot of fun together. ” She wiggles her brows at me.
Because he’ll break my heart, that’s why.
I focus away from her eyes and say softly, “I don’t know hon. I like him enough to know if we sleep together I would get too involved and pretty much set myself up for a whole bunch of disappointments. ” I lower my face and play with a piece of paper on the counter and whisper, “I can’t do another Jace. I do
n’t know how much is left of my heart to break but I know enough to say next time would destroy me. Right now I’m bent, not broken. Next time will break me. I don’t need a perfect relationship. I just need someone who won’t give up on me. ”
Her face flashes disbelief. She puts an arm around my waist, pulls me next to her and says, “You think Nik is capable of hurting you?”
I shrug and utter, “You didn’t see how he treated Sissy at the restaurant. It was like she was nothing. Less than nothing! And he was sleeping with her for four months!”
She shakes her head and says softly, “That’s because she was nothing to him. He told her exactly how it was and she tried to force something else. ”
I’m exasperated and respond a little too loudly, “Exactly! That’s how it’ll end up with us, too! I’ll get too involved and he’ll tell me to move along and then I’ll become She-Devil Teeny and Sissy and I will start the sisterhood of Nik’s Anonymous for women who are having trouble getting over Nik then we’ll have to hire a church and make sandwiches and punch for the thousands of women who come!”