I try again and after a few attempts I manage to squint a little.
There is a low light coming from beside me and I try to lift my loose body into a sitting position. Just as I’m about to give up and lay back down, arms come under mine and help me.
My head is pounding, it feel as though blood is rushing to my brain.
I look left and see a concerned Nat sits next to me on the bed. I look around the room and blanch.
This is Nik’s room.
What am I doing in Nik’s room?
“What am I doing here?” I whisper.
Nat puts her arm around me and explains, “I know you’re upset, T. But it was all a big misunderstanding. ”
My eyes widen in disbelief. I groan and put a shaking hand to my pounding skull.
She goes on quietly, “You didn’t see what we saw, babe. He had Sissy backed up against a wall and was
choking the life out of her. Does that sound like a man who was happily having an affair?”
He did what?!
That does sound unusual.
I remain quiet.
Nat continues, “When you walked in on that scene, and it was a scene planned by Sissy by the way, Nik was devastated. He thinks he’s lost you, Tina. He’s a mess. ”
I’m at war with myself.
I want to believe it. My heart says yes and my head counters with a big fat nuh uh.
Nat squeezes my shoulder and states confidently, “Tina, when he looked in my eyes and said nothing happened, I believed him. He loves you. And he doesn’t even like her. I saw the look in his eye, it was pure and honest. ”
And there it is.
Nat would never lie to me. If she believes Nik, she has reason to.
After a moment of silence I ask quietly, “Can you get Nik for me please?”
She smiles at me and responds, “Of course, beba. ” I smile softly.
My mom used to call me beba all the time. It means baby in Croatian.
She exits the room and suddenly I’m nervous and sweating.
What if it Nik doesn’t want me anymore because I believed he’d do something like that to me?
The door opens, I turn to look and see Nik stand hesitating in the doorway.
I try so hard to be strong but I crumple. I cover my face with my hands and burst into heart wrenching, uncontrollable sobs.
I feel the bed depress and in a moment I’m lifted onto Nik’s lap. He cradles me like a parent would their child.
He coos, “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay now. ” And he kisses my head and rocks me til I calm.
I sob and sputter, “I’m s- s- sorry. Sissy’s a b- b- bitch. ” I finish on a wail.