Love Thy Neighbour (Friend-Zoned 2)

Ash nods and says, “Yes, sir. I am. Nik’s friend, Asher. ” Then Ash holds out his hand for dad to take and my stomach knots.

Please, Tata. Oh please, just take it.

Dad looks at Ash for a good ten seconds before he takes his hand and pumps it twice before letting go. He turns his back and says to Asher, “You come. ” Then he walks inside.

Ash looks at me as if I should confirm whether he’s walking into his imminent death. Choking down my laughter, I tell him, “Go with him. He probably just wants to show you something manly. ”

Ash swallows hard, straightens to full height, nods into the distance and walks inside, following my father. Shaking my head, I chuckle.

Fare thee well, brave soldier.

***

Oh shit. The man has a basement.

What do people need basements for these days?

For dismembering bodies of their daughters’ husbands, that’s why.

I am so fucked.

Walking down the steps, I think of my beautiful wife’s face and remember that whatever this is right now, she’s worth it.

When I make it to the last step, I look around and my mouth gapes.

This is the coolest fucking room I’ve ever been in.

There’s a pool table, a dart board, a poker table, a huge flat screen TV, a very comfortable looking sofa, a library along the back wall and a bar in the far corner. Walking with wide eyes, something hits the side of my head and I reach up to steady the…hanging pork leg?

What the fuck?

Nat’s dad sees me holding the leg with what is probably my what the fuck face and he says a heavily accented, “Is prosciutto. Very nice. Salty ham. We do every year. Is traditions. ”

He motions to the bar, and satisfied that he’s not going to kill me…yet, I move over to him. My eyes widen once more when he pulls out two shot glasses and an old bottle of something clear. He pours them both and says, “My Natalie. She smart. If she bring a boy home, I know she love him. ”

I pipe down the urge to puff up my chest and bang on it like Tarzan while doing a jungle call. He goes on, “So, I must ask. Nina tell me about the other boy, the one who hits her. She say a good man help Nat. Is this man you?”

My gut knots. I had no idea her sisters would tell her parents.

Nodding, I tell him, “Yes, sir. I helped her. ”

Nodding with me, he allows a moment’s silence before he asks slowly, “You make him pay?”

Looking him direct in the eyes, I say with sincerity, “In a way he’ll never forget, sir. Ever. ”

He nods once more and I know he gets me. Playing with his glass, he asks quietly, “Are you worthy?”

Puffing out a big breath, I tell him, “I- uh- I really don’t know. I hope so because I love her. So much that I’d do anything for her. I’ll protect her til the day I die, if she’ll have me. She makes me a better person. ”

Seeming satisfied with my answer, he raises his glass and motions mine. I fumble for it so quick that I almost knock it over. Lifting it high with his, he says, “živeli!” and it sort of sounds like zhiv-yell-ee.

Not knowing what it means and seriously not giving a fuck, I clink my glass to his and say “živeli!”

He smiles for the first time and downs his shot like it’s water. I sniff it. It’s strong as horse piss. Not wasting another moment thinking on it, I shoot it. And it burns my mouth and throat simultaneously.

Horse piss? More like paint remover!

Being the man I am and wanting to impress him, I coax down the cough that threatens til my face turns blue. He belly laughs when he sees my face, “Cough or you die!”