I look over at the table to look at my friends.
Lola looks as if I just told her that ice cream actually has crack in it. Tina weeps softly wearing a watery smile. Max smirks at me. I wink at him. He winks back at me. Mimi kisses her fingertips and places them on her heart and I want to cry from the overwhelming support I feel. Trick, who’s obviously having trouble getting over this, says quietly, “Holy shit. ”
Nik stands and walks over to us. He kisses my cheek before taking Ash in a full-blown man hug. A long one. They both seem to be a little emotional. Nik whispers something to Ash and Ash nods before he slaps Nik’s back a few times and they part. Nik moves to stand between us and says, “It’s my honor to present the new Mr. and Mrs. Asher Collins. ”
Everyone stands up, whooping and cheering. And that’s about the time I burst into tears.
I’m suddenly being group hugged and Tina wails, “I’m so happy for you, you crazy lady!”
I wail right back, “I’m so happy I could shit rainbows!”
Lola cheers. “I’m so fucking happy right now!”
Mimi kisses my head and rocks me slightly. She says in a sing-song voice, “I knew all along!”
Laughing and carrying on with my friends, I look towards my husband who is being interrogated by his friends. He winks at me. I mouth, “Love you. ”
Warmth settles in my belly and I breathe deeply.
All is right in my world.
***
We get home from a long night of celebration and I drag my ass through the door of Ash’s apartment. He’d called someone to clean my place and wasn’t sure if it was done yet, so he told me to shower and relax at his place while he went to check on my apartment.
I smile tiredly.
What a great husband.
I shower quickly and get my jammies on. Nothing sexy tonight, just my Minnie Mouse pajama pants and a tight black tank because I’m seriously pooped. When I lie down on the bed, I close my eyes and lie to myself that I’m only resting them.
Something wet and warm licks my nose. Another something licks my cheek. My brow furrows in annoyance. If Ash is licking my face, I’m going to be pissed. I don’t roll that way.
Opening my eyes, I gasp in astonishment and sit up. Then I shriek in excitement, causing the two little puppies to jump up and down on me in equally as much excitement. Looking around, I spot Ash leaning in the door frame smiling. He says, “Now these guys are not your babies. They’re our dogs. Dogs. Got that? We’re going to have babies, so don’t baby them. And if I see you dress them in fucking tutus and dresses and shit, they’re gone. You’re not gonna put ‘em through that kind of torture, okay?”
I whisper in awe, “Oh my God. ”
I watch the little tan pug puppy attack the little black pug puppy. They wrestle and make sweet little whimpering noises and baby growls. They are so precious and perfect. I love them immediately. They both have collars already on them. The tan puppy has on a blue collar and the black puppy has on a yellow collar. They have little metal tags on them in the shape of a bone. They’re engraved too. My little tan puppy’s name is Pizza and my little black puppy is called Donut.
My family is forming right before my eyes.
Covering my eyes with my hands, I give myself a mental pep talk to get my shit together. I’m becoming an emotional wreck and that was not part of the deal. Breathing deeply, I look up at Ash and tell him quietly, “I love them. Thank you, baby. ”
Walking over to the bed, he says, “Now I’m no expert, but I don’t think you need to thank someone for loving you. You just need to…I don’t know…appreciate it, I guess. ” He shrugs and says sheepishly, “I think. I’m still learning. ”
I look up at him and wonder how I was ever happy without him. The truth is, I wasn’t. Not at all. I was faking my way through life. You know that saying ‘Fake it til you make it. ’?
I was living it.
And I hated it.
I mentally vow from this day to never fake my happiness. I won’t need to. As long as I have the other part of my heart sleeping next to me every night, everything will be great in my world.
Starting tomorrow, I will live my life as it was meant to be lived.
In the wise words of my husband…
…Just happy.