She smiles at me, her eyes full of wisdom. “I forgave him. Every time.”
My nose bunches. “I don’t know if I could do that.”
She shrugs lightly. “You ever said something you wish you didn’t? Something that hurt someone without meaning to?”
Had I? Yes, I had. More than once. I nod, and she asks, “How did it make you feel?”
“Like shit,” I whisper.
She puffs out a small laugh. “Exactly. Now, if your beau, Max, your sugar rush, is feeling like that right now, would you want to make him feel worse about it?”
I shake my head. “Now I’m not saying to run at him with open arms, honey.” She winks, the string of pearls around her neck gleaming in the sunlight. “Nothing wrong with a little guilt trip. Sometimes, silence is the best punishment a woman can show a man.”
A cab pulls up in front of the house and we both stand. I turn to her. “Are you and Stan still together?”
“In my heart, yes.” She smiles sadly. “He passed nine months ago and I miss him dearly.” A sincere look crosses her face. “And I’d give anything to hear his voice again, even if it were those hurtful words, because I’d forgive him again, and again, and again. I guess you could say that Stan was my very own sugar rush.”
A wise woman. I hold out my hand. “I’m Helena.”
She smiles sweetly, placing a gentle hand in my own. “I’m Martha Mae. But, please, call me Mae.”
I squeeze her hand. “Thank you for the talk.”
As I walk over to the cab, she calls out, “Helena, love isn’t proud.” When I turn, she adds with a light tilt of her head, “Sometimes, you have to put away your pride for the sake of love. But those times, with the right person, are completely worth it. Remember that, honey.”
Smiling gently, I step into
the cab and relay the address of my apartment. When the cab takes off, Mae waves, smiling back at me. I take in the words of the intelligent woman.
“Love isn’t proud.”
***
Max
Nik stares at me hard, his jaw ticking. “Maddy? As in Ceecee’s mom. That Maddy?”
I nod, nursing my beer. I lift it to my lips and utter, “The very same,” before I sip. When I wasn’t able to get ahold of Helena, I asked Ceecee if she wanted to go play with the girls. Of course, I had ulterior motives. I needed to talk to my brother. I needed advice, and if anyone knows better about how to fix what you’ve fucked up, it’s Nik.
As Tina, Ceecee, and the little ones laze around on the sofas, watching a kid’s movie, Nik and I sit on the back patio, away from little ears. My brother narrows his brows at me. “Why are you so calm about this?”
I’m not calm. I’m hurting, real bad, but not as much as I imagine Helena is. “Ceecee met her mom. It’s done. The bitch doesn’t want anything to do with her. I’d bet her family doesn’t even know about Ceecee.” I shake my head. “She was distraught, man. Never seen my baby so upset before.”
He sips his beer. “I can imagine. I’d have lost my shit.”
“I did,” I admit. “I said some pretty fuckin’ nasty things to Helena.” I turn to see Nik watching me closely. I utter, “I fucked up.”
Nik smirks. “Welcome to the club. I was wondering when you’d join us.”
I glare at him. “Not funny, dude.”
His smile falls. “You’re right; it isn’t, but it’s probably not that bad. What did you say to her?”
I breathe deeply, and exhale slowly. “That dating her was a mistake. That she wasn’t Ceecee’s mom. That she had no right to do things she didn’t even do.” I pause a second before I tell him, “She told me she loves me, man. Just last night.”
Nik remains silent, and I know it’s bad. If it weren’t, he would be teasing me. His non-response tells me how serious this is. How badly I fucked up. After a while, he asks, “You call her?”
I scoff. “Only thirty times.”