Breaking the Rules (Pushing the Limits 1.50)

Experience has told me that change normally is the absence of good, and this causes the sensation of ants crawling around in my stomach. My foot drums against the floor, and Noah raises an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Yes.” Absolutely not. My entire world is in flux again, and it’s like grasping on to a slippery rock next to a waterfall. I can’t get a good grip, but at the same time I wouldn’t mind the fall into the deep pool below. It’s all so beautiful yet terrifying.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” But this frantic panic gains traction...am I different to him and if so, what does that mean for us?

It’s funny how, until waking next to him this morning, I never noticed the small scar above his eyebrow, and how there’s this spicy sweetness to his dark scent. Over the past couple of months, I’ve memorized Noah’s smell, but now it seems to be everywhere, all the time, and I clutch it like it’s a blanket. It reminds me of him pulling me close and declaring his love.

I bite my tongue, wishing I could utter the words, I love you more now, and it scares me. Please, please, please never leave. That’s all Noah must dream about. Making love to a girl who goes pathetic in the morning.

“There’s something going on, Echo. So tell me what.”

I give an exaggerated sigh and dig out the least wretched of my worries. “Will people know?”

“Know what?”

I glance him over and get a little thrill with how the muscles in his arms ripple as he readjusts his hold on the wheel.

“That we...you know...” Say it. “Made love?”

He rubs his mouth to hide the smirk forming there, but I smack his arm because I saw it.

“You’re not making me feel better,” I say as a tease, but I’m as serious as a death sentence.

Noah chuckles. “You’re way too uptight, baby. If you act like this, then yeah, Isaiah and Beth will spot it a mile away.”

My head hits the back of the seat. Freaking fantastic. I’m so utterly screwed.

“But it doesn’t matter how you act.”

“Why?”

His eyes devour me. “Because they’ll know it the moment they see me.”

A silly grin spreads across my face as I might like where this is heading. “Why’s that?”

“From the moment we finished last night, I wanted to do it again. My fingers hurt because I want to touch you so bad. I can’t stop the itch to explore your skin and to kiss you and...” His fingers actually flex on the wheel. “No one’s going to miss that I’m continually three seconds from yanking you behind a closed door and stripping you naked.”

That one declaration causes those mutant pterodactyls to raise their heads and grow restless, stretching their wings in preparation for flight. While the fantasy he wove is fantastically cool and amazing, it makes me hot and flustered to think he wants me bad enough to actually do something like that...in public...

“Will we do it all the time now?” And as soon as the question leaves my mouth, I’m swamped in the land of lame. “I mean, I know that wasn’t a one-time deal, but is that what we’ll do forever? Like now that we’ve accomplished actually doing it, is that what we’ll do night after night or will we do other things?”

And I’m rambling. Horribly so. Oh, God, kill me. Now. Send a bolt of lightning from the sky and strike me dead.

“Because it was special.” Because I have this horrid deficiency where I feel the need to explain why I’m a freak of nature. “And while it was special and awesome, I’m not sure how awesome it will be every single night. Because...well...” It hurt.

Noah laughs, but his laughter dies when he notices I’m not laughing with him.

“Hey,” he says. But I can’t look at him because of this sickening weight in my stomach. Noah laughed at me. I opened up, just a little, and he laughed.

“Echo.” Noah switches the hand he’s driving with then reaches over and grabs on to the fingers resting in my lap, but I jerk them away. “Look at me.”

But I can’t. “I wasn’t joking. This is still new and it still scares me and...forget it.”

“I’m the dick. I keep telling you to talk then I cut you off. I thought you were kidding.”

Anger courses through me like a rocket launch. “Do I look like I’m kidding?”