She ran a hand down her son’s cheek, the love there quite clear. I felt a pang of jealousy for what they shared; I never knew my mother, as she died when I was a baby and I did not wish to remember my father.
“As you always said—”
“Lightning.”
The one word had Tyler nodding.
Mrs. Tannenbaum turned toward me. “Tell me about yourself, Emily.”
Her posture was ramrod straight and her hands were folded in her lap. She was a lady through and through.
I dabbed my lips with my napkin and took a sip of water. I cleared my throat, suddenly nervous. I am a liar. A killer. “Well, Mrs. Tannenbaum—”
“Belinda, please.”
I gave a small nod. “All right. Belinda. I was recently widowed and found myself in a predicament.” I didn’t need to share more than that and I was relieved neither man chose to do so. I glanced at both of them. Tyler watched me with his usual calm demeanor—now I knew where it came from—and Xander was helping himself to a second serving of chicken and dumplings.
“It wasn’t a good marriage,” Belinda said. She didn’t form it as a question, but as fact. She was very good at reading people, so I looked away. What else could she see?
“No. It wasn’t a good marriage. He wasn’t a good man.” That truth was easy to tell. “Marrying Xander and Tyler, well, it might not have been lightning as you call it…” I swallowed again, worried I’d make everyone mad at me. Perhaps she’d see me as a gold digger even, or worse, what I really was. “However, I have found that both Xander and Tyler are… nice.”
Xander arched a brow and his forkful of dumpling stopped halfway to his mouth. “Nice? You think that about us?”
I shrugged, not wanting to admit to my new mother-in-law that I found her son and Xander very attractive and eager to have them fuck me as soon as we were in private.
“We will have to work on some other adjectives,” Tyler added with a very heated look.
I felt my cheeks blush.
“A woman marries for completely different reasons than a man. Look at these two.” Belinda waved her hand between the men. “They have money, looks, land, a successful business. They do not need to account to anyone. A woman, though, can’t work, but if she did, it would be at a backbreaking task and for a piddly amount. She would be vulnerable to less honorable men and her virtue would be constantly in question.”
While Xander started eating again, he listened carefully.
“As for you, a widow, I assume you had no protection once you were alone. Do you have family?”
I placed my napkin on the table beside my plate. “No, ma’am.”
Tyler stood, retrieved the coffeepot from the stove and filled his mug.
“Marrying for protection is reason enough. A man must understand this and be gentle—” she looked blatantly at Xander, then at Tyler, “—and patient.”
“Point taken, Mother,” Tyler said, sitting back down, his long legs stretched out beneath the table.
She was so kind. How would she feel about me when she learned I was a killer? God, the guilt, the worry, it was getting worse and worse. My secret was a weapon for so many people. I didn’t intend to hurt any of them, but the list of casualties was growing.
“You do not have any children?” She looked at me almost wistfully.
I looked down at my empty plate. I was a liar and possibly barren. I was a terrible wife. The guilt about both riddled me. “No.”
“I could only have Tyler, but I had Olivia to raise as well after her parents died. I’m sure these two will get you with child soon enough.”
My cheeks burned at her bold words.
“Mother!” Tyler shouted, rolling his eyes.
Xander made a sound in the back of his throat.
Belinda did not look mollified at all. “I want grandchildren.”