I was sure the stuff mentioned was a long list. There was probably tons more.
“When I was twenty-two, I met a guy. He was great, until he wasn’t. He was like my mom in that he blamed me for things he did wrong. You’d think I would have avoided someone like him because of my mom, but maybe that’s all I knew. He was late getting home from work so the dinner was cold and he was mad. I wasn’t sexy enough and that was why he couldn’t get it up. Or, later, why he cheated. I was at the police academy, and he said I was a slut for being around all those men.”
“That’s all bullshit,” I said. The longer she talked, the angrier I became. Not at Eve, but at her mom. At this asshole who needed to be taken care of.
“I know now, but then… I only had my mother, who should have been a role model, as an example. I thought that what he said was right, that everything I did was wrong. Toward the end, I questioned my ability to do anything. I wasn’t sexy. I was stupid. I even started to think I really was a slut for wanting to be a police officer.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I know now.”
“What happened?” Shane asked, his voice just above a whisper.
“He hit me.”
Every muscle in my body tensed. “Where is this fucker? I’ve got acres of land, and Shane’s got the entire forest to bury his body.”
“I didn’t think anything of it. I used makeup to cover it up. Until one day a woman came into the station. Domestic abuse. She told me stories that were really familiar. I’d been trained to offer counseling and a women’s shelter, which I did. I remember exactly where I was. It was like a lightbulb went off. I was her. I needed the counseling, that I was being used as a doormat and a punching bag to validate my boyfriend’s issues, nothing more.”
“Good for you,” I said, tipping her chin up with my fingers. I couldn
’t help but kiss her, to let her know we were here, that we desired her. That she was special.
She moaned, then turned her head away. “If you keep doing that, I won’t finish.”
I chuckled. She had to feel how hard my dick was at her hip. She couldn’t doubt my desire for her.
“I had my partner and a few guys help me move. I never looked back. In fact, I moved here to escape it all.”
“What about your mother?”
“She told me I shouldn’t have left Chad. That he was good for me, that I was stupid to walk away from someone like him.”
I shook my head. “She’s a piece of work. I’m sorry, sugar.”
She shifted and I let her stand. Sitting, we were both shorter than her. “I left her behind too. Haven’t heard from her since I moved here. That’s why I freaked with you. I trusted myself to spend the weekend with you, and I learned you were arrested for assault. It just made me realize I hadn’t gotten any better.”
“That’s bullshit,” Shane said.
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t read the entire case file. If I had, I’d have seen what you did was honorable.”
It felt good hearing those words from her. It eased something in me, because it was crucial Eve understand. I wanted nothing between us, especially that shit from my past.
“You don’t do relationships because of your ex?” I asked.
She nodded and the hair she’d tucked back fell forward.
“I won’t go back to that.”
“We’re not here to hold you down, sugar,” I told her. “We’re here to lift you up. You wouldn’t want that guy to have this much control over you, would you? Because even after years, he’s still messing with you.”
She’d been so fucking strong and walked away from an abusive man. A mother who didn’t put Eve first… or ever in her life. She was beyond brave. Incredible. Yet avoiding relationships because they’d been shit in the past only meant those who’d hurt her still had control over her.
To break loose, she had to live. To love. And that was going to be with me and Shane.
Shane nodded. “We would never hurt you.”
“I don’t doubt you.” She set her hand over her heart. “I doubt me.”