I didn’t care that the naked man pressed next to me wasn’t my husband. Had no concerns over how I strained against my restraints to get closer to him, and the very last thing on my mind was how I’d explain any of this to Vlad if I ever saw him again.
After it was over and Maximus had left, my emotions were in such turmoil that I was glad he’d arranged for his “visit” close to dawn so I couldn’t attempt to link to Vlad until the next dusk. On one hand, I was beyond grateful to Maximus. If he’d gotten caught sneaking me blood, let alone caught in the act of not raping me, he’d be killed. He knew that and so did I, yet he continued to help me even though if I was successful and Vlad managed to rescue me, the first thing he’d do was kill Maximus. I probably wouldn’t even have time to tell Vlad that the video had been a fake before he toasted him to kingdom come. Besides, even if Vlad knew that the tape wasn’t real, he might kill Maximus anyway. He’d killed the Joker for far, far less than what Maximus had done to me.
On the other hand, after what had happened during my feeding frenzy, I was so disgusted with myself that I almost wished I’d gotten skinned again instead. Due to the roughly three pints of blood that Maximus had managed to sneak into me, my mind felt clear, my body felt rejuvenated, and my focus was back. No wonder starvation was second only to silver poisoning as the most effective way to keep a vampire captive weak and docile. However, that also meant that I had a crystal clear recollection of everything I’d done while gripped by that insatiable, conscienceless hunger. If Vlad ever found out . . . Maximus might not be the only one he killed.
Despite my guilt and misgivings, as soon as I awoke the next evening, I channeled all of my new energy into my attempt to link to Vlad. He never needed to know what had happened with me and Maximus earlier, and after what I’d done to get that blood, I wasn’t about to waste it. When over half the night went by but nothing happened, my frustration grew. Why could I reach him in my sleep while starved and weak, yet not be able to connect to him while I was awake and stronger?
Because you didn’t link to him before, it was only a dream! my inner voice taunted me.
My jaw clenched. I don’t care if it officially made me a schizophrenic; one day I was going to kill that bitch.
I forced back my anger to concentrate again, searching for those internal essence traces that had to be there. More time went by, and all that happened was I overheard Szilagyi telling Maximus that he needed to accompany him on a “scouting” mission over the next few days. That fueled my desperation. No Maximus meant no more blood, plus I figured the only reason the guards hadn’t taken advantage of my unconscious state each morning was because they knew that Maximus would kill them if they tried anything. If he wasn’t there and they didn’t think Szilagyi would mind . . .
As the minutes continued to slip by without any progress, I began to despair that my inner voice had been right. Maybe it really had been a dream last time. Otherwise, I was doing something in my sleep that I wasn’t doing now, and for the life of me, I couldn’t imagine what. I couldn’t be more focused on finding the link, whereas when I was asleep, I wasn’t even looking for it. All I did was miss Vlad with a ferocity I didn’t allow myself to dwell on when I was awake—
He strode through a dense forest with Mencheres at his side. Sunlight peeked through the trees, reflecting off of a piece of metal about a hundred yards ahead.
“Why the bloody hell did you bring him here?” an English voice demanded, then a dark-haired man stepped out from behind a tree, his silver knife still glinting in the sun.
“Because you’re not the only vampire he values as family,” Vlad replied, his tone equally harsh. “I don’t have time for our usual insults, Bones, so take me to Cat. Now.”
The image dissolved, leaving me staring at my stone prison with a mixture of shock, excitement and determination. That hadn’t been a dream, so my abilities were back! At once, I tried to reestablish the link, but almost an hour later, I was still running up against a metaphysical wall.
Frustration made me want to scream. I was doing exactly what I’d done before, yet it wasn’t working! My psychic abilities were there, so why couldn’t I control them? Or were they unreliable now, like a cell phone with a bad signal?
Vlad. Even that small glimpse made me bang my head against the wall to combat the stronger ache inside. He hadn’t been dressed in filthy clothes, but his expression had held the same wildness as when he’d burned down the remains of his castle—
“I lost days searching the ruins of my house until I realized that Leila wasn’t buried beneath the rubble. Then you cost me more time because you couldn’t be bothered to check your messages,” Vlad was saying in a blistering tone as he, Bones, and Mencheres walked out of the woods. “If you’d returned Mencheres’s calls immediately, I might have been able to prevent the worst of my wife’s suffering.”
“Your wife?” Bones asked in surprise.
Vlad shot him a look. “I’ll explain when I see Cat.”
The vision slipped away and a strangled sob escaped me as I finally realized what I’d been doing wrong. All this time, I’d been focusing on finding my link to Vlad, not on Vlad himself. I’d had it backward. Vlad was my link, not some hidden essence trail within me. That’s why I’d been able to reach him in my dreams, both recently and back when I’d been hiding from him months ago. Once free of my willpower, my subconscious had zeroed in on him, forming its own link. n’t care that the naked man pressed next to me wasn’t my husband. Had no concerns over how I strained against my restraints to get closer to him, and the very last thing on my mind was how I’d explain any of this to Vlad if I ever saw him again.
After it was over and Maximus had left, my emotions were in such turmoil that I was glad he’d arranged for his “visit” close to dawn so I couldn’t attempt to link to Vlad until the next dusk. On one hand, I was beyond grateful to Maximus. If he’d gotten caught sneaking me blood, let alone caught in the act of not raping me, he’d be killed. He knew that and so did I, yet he continued to help me even though if I was successful and Vlad managed to rescue me, the first thing he’d do was kill Maximus. I probably wouldn’t even have time to tell Vlad that the video had been a fake before he toasted him to kingdom come. Besides, even if Vlad knew that the tape wasn’t real, he might kill Maximus anyway. He’d killed the Joker for far, far less than what Maximus had done to me.
On the other hand, after what had happened during my feeding frenzy, I was so disgusted with myself that I almost wished I’d gotten skinned again instead. Due to the roughly three pints of blood that Maximus had managed to sneak into me, my mind felt clear, my body felt rejuvenated, and my focus was back. No wonder starvation was second only to silver poisoning as the most effective way to keep a vampire captive weak and docile. However, that also meant that I had a crystal clear recollection of everything I’d done while gripped by that insatiable, conscienceless hunger. If Vlad ever found out . . . Maximus might not be the only one he killed.
Despite my guilt and misgivings, as soon as I awoke the next evening, I channeled all of my new energy into my attempt to link to Vlad. He never needed to know what had happened with me and Maximus earlier, and after what I’d done to get that blood, I wasn’t about to waste it. When over half the night went by but nothing happened, my frustration grew. Why could I reach him in my sleep while starved and weak, yet not be able to connect to him while I was awake and stronger?
Because you didn’t link to him before, it was only a dream! my inner voice taunted me.
My jaw clenched. I don’t care if it officially made me a schizophrenic; one day I was going to kill that bitch.
I forced back my anger to concentrate again, searching for those internal essence traces that had to be there. More time went by, and all that happened was I overheard Szilagyi telling Maximus that he needed to accompany him on a “scouting” mission over the next few days. That fueled my desperation. No Maximus meant no more blood, plus I figured the only reason the guards hadn’t taken advantage of my unconscious state each morning was because they knew that Maximus would kill them if they tried anything. If he wasn’t there and they didn’t think Szilagyi would mind . . .
As the minutes continued to slip by without any progress, I began to despair that my inner voice had been right. Maybe it really had been a dream last time. Otherwise, I was doing something in my sleep that I wasn’t doing now, and for the life of me, I couldn’t imagine what. I couldn’t be more focused on finding the link, whereas when I was asleep, I wasn’t even looking for it. All I did was miss Vlad with a ferocity I didn’t allow myself to dwell on when I was awake—
He strode through a dense forest with Mencheres at his side. Sunlight peeked through the trees, reflecting off of a piece of metal about a hundred yards ahead.
“Why the bloody hell did you bring him here?” an English voice demanded, then a dark-haired man stepped out from behind a tree, his silver knife still glinting in the sun.
“Because you’re not the only vampire he values as family,” Vlad replied, his tone equally harsh. “I don’t have time for our usual insults, Bones, so take me to Cat. Now.”
The image dissolved, leaving me staring at my stone prison with a mixture of shock, excitement and determination. That hadn’t been a dream, so my abilities were back! At once, I tried to reestablish the link, but almost an hour later, I was still running up against a metaphysical wall.
Frustration made me want to scream. I was doing exactly what I’d done before, yet it wasn’t working! My psychic abilities were there, so why couldn’t I control them? Or were they unreliable now, like a cell phone with a bad signal?
Vlad. Even that small glimpse made me bang my head against the wall to combat the stronger ache inside. He hadn’t been dressed in filthy clothes, but his expression had held the same wildness as when he’d burned down the remains of his castle—
“I lost days searching the ruins of my house until I realized that Leila wasn’t buried beneath the rubble. Then you cost me more time because you couldn’t be bothered to check your messages,” Vlad was saying in a blistering tone as he, Bones, and Mencheres walked out of the woods. “If you’d returned Mencheres’s calls immediately, I might have been able to prevent the worst of my wife’s suffering.”
“Your wife?” Bones asked in surprise.
Vlad shot him a look. “I’ll explain when I see Cat.”
The vision slipped away and a strangled sob escaped me as I finally realized what I’d been doing wrong. All this time, I’d been focusing on finding my link to Vlad, not on Vlad himself. I’d had it backward. Vlad was my link, not some hidden essence trail within me. That’s why I’d been able to reach him in my dreams, both recently and back when I’d been hiding from him months ago. Once free of my willpower, my subconscious had zeroed in on him, forming its own link.