Rage and Ruin (The Harbinger 2)

“These people are my friends,” he said, and I sucked in a sharp breath. “And why would anyone tell you? You didn’t ask who Stacey lost, even though I mentioned it.”

I jerked back. “I didn’t think you’d want me to ask.”

“Yeah, and I wonder why you thought that.”

My mouth dropped open. “That’s bullshit. I tried to ask you the night we talked on the couch, and you told me there were a lot of things I didn’t know.”

“You were asking about Stacey being at my place before. You weren’t asking about her. You were asking about us. Big difference there.”

A prickly sensation swept across my skin as his pupils shrank back to their normal size. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I felt like I’d belly flopped over a line.

“I didn’t tell you about meeting with her because I didn’t think it would be something you’d want to hear. Maybe I was wrong. No. I was wrong. I should’ve said I was meeting her among the other stuff I needed to do today. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.” He glared at me. “Stacey is my friend, and I haven’t been a very good friend to her of late. That was what today was supposed to be. That’s what the other day was about. Nothing else. Nothing more. No matter what she and I used to do or not do.”

My face started to sting. “You don’t owe me an explanation—”

“Apparently I do. So, here’s what you need to know. Stacey thought she was telling the boy she knew for years that she loved him, but she wasn’t. She never got to tell Sam,” he said, causing me to flinch. “And that boy was in Hell until Layla freed him. Stacey knew that, once we realized what we were dealing with wasn’t Sam. There wasn’t a damn thing she could do, so, yes, hearing that he was there hit her hard.

“And after what happened between us, I cannot believe you’re questioning me,” he continued. “You don’t want anything serious between us, so it shouldn’t matter what the Hell I was doing with her or with anyone. You made your choice.”

“Choice?” I barked out a harsh laugh. “You have no idea, so please, keep standing there, making me feel bad when you’re the one who chose not to tell me about Stacey. And what nerve of you?” I stepped toward him. Anger and frustration was a tumultuous storm in me and the emotions got the best of me. “I had no choice. I had to draw a line, because if whatever was going on between us became more than something physical, I have no idea what would happen to you. It’s forbidden, so I drew a line at kissing, because it does make things mean more to me. You tore me down for that, making me feel like I was using you like Layla did. You projected your baggage all over me, but you brought Stacey to that ice cream parlor. I know what that place is. It’s the one your father took you to. It’s important to you, and never once have you even considered taking me there.”

“It’s a damn ice cream shop, Trinity.”

“Oh, don’t you dare try to play it off as if that place means nothing to you. If it was anyone else? Sure. I know better. You get to think I’m terrible for excluding you from something you find important, but you can do it to me?”

A muscle ticked in his jaw as he looked away.

“I guess you’re resisting saying it’s not the same?”

“Just like you not telling me about Sam is not the same?” he shot back. “Or when you refuse to tell me the truth when I know you’re not okay? Or when I know you’re not telling me the whole story about things?”

“Oh my God.” I shook my head, and I don’t know why I admitted what I did next. It was like the situation was spiraling out of control and I followed right along with it. “You know what, I have lied. That day in the park? I wasn’t out roaming around. I’d gone to see the coven of witches with Roth.”

His gaze sharpened on me.

“He wanted me to help get Bambi back, and I thought it would be a good chance to try to get more information out of them,” I continued, hands clenching into fists. “I killed that witch, Faye. So, yeah, we’re both great at lying about the important stuff, right? We’re both hypocrites. Does that make you feel better, knowing that? It should. Now that you know what I’m capable of, you should be thrilled I drew that line.”

He stared at me. “You’re wrong. I’m better at keeping things a secret than you.”

“Is that so?” I challenged.

“I knew about Roth and the coven,” he said, effectively blowing my mind and the smugness right out of me. “I knew that he asked you to help. And I know that you didn’t want to kill her or any of them. I also know that you didn’t kill that witch until she went after Bambi and the Crone told you to.”

“Well,” I said, and that was all I could say.

“Roth called me after he dropped you off.”

My jaw was on the ground. That demonic SOB had told me not to tell Zayne!

“He didn’t think it wise for you to be out there by yourself,” he continued, and I about fell flat on my back. “I was just waiting for you to tell me, and I guess you have.”

I had nothing to say.

“There it is. The expression on your face I was waiting for when the hypocrisy turned right back around on you. Too bad it’s not as enjoyable as I thought it would be,” he said. “And you know what? I should be in there with Stacey, because that’s what a friend does. Instead, I’m out here with you.”

The sting returned, mixing with the burn. “I didn’t tell you to come out here.”

Zayne shook his head as he dragged his lower lip between his teeth. “Do you know your way back to the apartment?”

“I can figure—”

“Do you or do you not know your way back to the apartment, Trinity? Do you even have any apps downloaded on your phone to help you? Can you see those street signs? Did you pay attention when Sam led you here?” When I didn’t answer—when I couldn’t answer—he said, “It’s not like I can just let you roam around, so whether or not you want me here or I want to be here, this is where I am.”

The burn and sting became a knot I could barely swallow. All my anger pulsed, dissipated, returned as something entirely new. My chest ached, but my skin burned with embarrassment and my shoulders slumped under the sudden weight as I stared at the pebbled alley floor.

Burden.

That’s what that weight was. A burden of duty, and a burden of having to be aided. Zayne was right. I didn’t even have Google Maps on my phone. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to read the stupid directions if I did. He knew that, and he was here because of that and because he was my bonded Protector.

Not because I was a friend in need.

Not because this was where he wanted or needed to be.

And that was a world of difference. Even if things hadn’t gotten so complicated between us, this situation right here would’ve probably still happened.

“I want to go back to the apartment,” I said, feeling so very heavy. “I would like that.”

“Of course.” His voice was flat. “It’s your world, Trinity.”

It’s your world.

Hadn’t Misha said something similar? I turned toward the street, squinting behind my sunglasses. “I can do an Uber if you—um, if you help me with seeing the app and...” Heat flowed over my cheeks. “And help me with the car when it gets here. I can’t see license plates, and some makes—”

“Got it,” he clipped out, and when I looked over my shoulder, he already had his phone out. No more than a few seconds later, he announced, “The car will be here in less than ten minutes.”

And that was all he said.

28

About two years ago, Misha and I got into this huge fight. Jada and Ty and several other Wardens were leaving the Community to spend a day in one of the nearby towns and Outback cheese fries were involved, so of course, I wanted to go with them. Thierry refused my request due to some inane reason and, knowing my penchant for not listening to his orders, he went as far as stationing spare Wardens at all the possible exits of the house. Misha had told me he wasn’t going and would be working on something with Thierry. He’d lied and gone with the group, and while coming to find out that lie wasn’t his biggest crime, it had been world ending to me then. I knew that my anger and upset had everything to do with me feeling left out and like life was generally unfair, but Misha had still lied instead of just fessing up to the fact that he’d wanted to go with everyone. I would’ve still been jealous, but I wouldn’t have said anything other than have fun. We were both at fault, even though I shouldered most of the blame; we yelled and shouted at each other before retreating to our respective rooms, slamming the doors shut. The following morning we had to train, and I wanted to apologize but was still too angry and hurt to cross that bridge, so the entire session was incredibly awkward and conversation stilted throughout the remaining day.

That was a lot like how tonight was going with Zayne.

He hadn’t come back to the apartment until it was almost time to leave, and all he said as he passed me in the living room was that he thought it would be a good idea to check out the area that surrounded the high school.

We’d probably exchanged three complete sentences since then, which wasn’t exactly different than the past several days.

So, fun times.

As we walked along the rain-drenched sidewalks toward Heights on the Hill, which was what the school was called, I felt a lot like I had with Misha following our argument, but unlike earlier, when I couldn’t figure out why I was being such a coward, I thought I might have figured it out now. And I wanted to apologize. I was mouthy and confrontational on a good day and didn’t back down from a fight, but I absolutely loathed conflict with someone I cared about. The problem was, like with Misha that day, I was still furious and hurt and about a million miles away from being ready to apologize.

But I wasn’t completely to blame.