Rage and Ruin (The Harbinger 2)

“Not at all, Trinity. Not even remotely. You are good. You’ve always been good, and we took steps to prevent you from being lured by your abilities.”

But was that true?

I was selfish and prone to acts of pettiness and barely restrained violence. I wasn’t a great friend, and the list of my character flaws was a mile long. Look at what I’d done to Faye. I hadn’t felt remorse.

“There was an uprising of Trueborns against Wardens,” Thierry was explaining, snagging me from my thoughts. “This happened centuries ago, and a lot of the history has been lost to time. All I know is that it had to do with a bonding, and as a result, a lot of Wardens died. Bonds between Wardens and Trueborns were severed, and after that, Trueborns died out.”

“I... I don’t know what to even say.” Shock had scattered my thoughts. “Except you all should’ve told me this. Someone should’ve told me this.”

“You’re right,” he said, voice heavy. “We should have, but we never thought it would be an issue—”

“Because I’m a paradigm of a decent human being?”

“Because you are good, and we also made sure you didn’t rely on your grace and use it too much.”

I sucked in a sharp breath.

“Grace is a beautiful thing. It’s your angelic ancestry shining through. But it’s also the deadliest weapon known to Earth, Heaven and Hell, and that kind of power is dangerous,” he went on. “It can be seductive. We didn’t want you getting accustomed to it.”

The room seemed to tilt even though I was still sitting. “But you all were wrong. I understand what you were trying to avoid, but you were wrong.”

“Trinity—”

“Teaching me to use it only as a last resort ended with me being knocked out for over an hour last night. I should’ve used it immediately, and that turned out to be a major weakness this other Trueborn picked up on immediately,” I told him. “Now I have to undo years of being taught to do everything else before I use my grace. You were wrong.”

Thierry didn’t respond for a long moment and when he did, the remorse in his voice was as thick as the frustration I felt. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have forced you to go against your nature, even if that nature could turn.”

* * *

Leaning against a concrete wall, I adjusted my new pair of sunglasses. The arms were loose, so they kept slipping down my nose.

“I feel like we’re loitering,” I said. We were waiting for Roth, and I guessed Layla, to join us, near the corner of the street that led to the school.

“Probably because we’re technically doing just that,” Zayne responded.

I looked at him as I toyed with the tail of the thick braid I’d managed to weave before leaving the apartment. He was standing a foot or two from the wall, dressed as if he was going patrolling, as was I, even though I wasn’t supposed to be engaging in anything. Luckily, Zayne had had the sense to find my blades and bring them back. They were attached to my hips, but if push came to shove, I wasn’t going to use them.

Not anymore.

I sighed, shifting my weight from one foot to the next. I’d told Zayne about my call on the drive over here. He’d been just as dumbstruck as I had been.

Could I become evil?

That question kept popping into my mind. Every time it did, I thought about the other Trueborn, and I thought about what I’d done.

What I knew I was capable of.

Nervous energy buzzed through my veins as I tried to shove those thoughts aside.

Zayne looked at me, his features fuzzy in a ray of sunlight. “What are you thinking about?”

The bond between us was as convenient as it was obnoxious. “I was trying not to think about what Thierry told me.”

He faced me. “You’re not evil, Trin. You’re never going to go evil.”

I appreciated his faith in me, especially after everything that had gone down between us. “I don’t know if I should be worried you knew exactly what I was thinking.”

“You shouldn’t be worried you’ll end up like the other Trueborn.”

A mail truck rumbled past us. “The thing is, we don’t know anything about this Trueborn and why he’s doing what he’s doing, but I... I killed that witch.”

“The witch who betrayed us and was responsible for the deaths of countless humans.” He moved closer.

“I know, but she...”

“What?” he persisted softly.

I squeezed my eyes shut behind the sunglasses. “She was scared. She didn’t want to die, even after she knew it was going to happen once the Crone arrived, and I... I don’t know if I cared or not. I mean, I recognized she was scared, but there was this moment, before she released Bambi, that I wanted to kill her.” Feeling like I’d bathed in dirt, I opened my eyes. “I had my hand on her neck, and I wanted to kill her.”

“I wanted to kill her.”

My head whipped in his direction.

“You’re really that shocked? She handed over enchantments that not only killed humans but also put Wardens in danger. She did it to use parts of you,” he reminded me. “I’m not losing any sleep over how it turned out for her. The only thing I wish is that you aren’t bothered by it.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Me, too.”

Zayne lifted his hand slowly, reaching out and guiding my sunglasses back up the bridge of my nose. “The fact you’re questioning yourself and your reactions is proof you’re not evil.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

I smiled at that, carefully leaning my head against the wall. His words did make me feel a little better. I just hoped I could hold on to them. That I could believe them.

“You getting tired or anything?” he asked after a couple of minutes.

“Of anything other than boredom? No.”

“Just let me know if you tire of anything other than boredom,” he said and then added, “or me.”

My lips quirked. “I’m not sure I can make that promise about the last part.”

“Do try to resist.”

I pushed away from the wall, feeling like I should say something. To be honest. “I don’t think I could ever get bored with you.”

Surprise rippled through the bond like a rush of cool air. “Annoyed, a different story,” I amended.

“Well, I know better than to expect that.”

I inched closer to him. “Do you...do you get bored being stuck with me?”

His head tilted as warmth infused my cheeks. “I don’t know how you could ever think a moment with you could be boring. You filled up my entire kitchen with junk food and hid my coconut oil.”

“Unfair accusations,” I said and then I laughed a little. “Okay. I did hide your oil.”

His chuckle warmed my face even more. “I don’t look at us as being stuck together, Trin,” he said, and air lodged in my chest. “Things have been—”

I felt the shivery hot warning of a nearby demon, effectively stopping whatever Zayne was going to say. I swallowed a sigh of disappointment and stepped away. Seconds later, Roth and Layla rounded the other corner, walking toward us like the embodiment of light and dark. They crossed the street, hand in hand, and there was a little burst of envy in my chest as the happy couple joined us.

I wanted that.

I glanced at Zayne. I wanted that with him.

“Hey, sorry we’re late,” Layla said, a smile appearing as they came closer. The warm wind picked up pale strands from her ponytail, tossing them across her face.

“I’m not,” Roth replied.

I rolled my eyes while Zayne snorted.

Layla ignored that comment as she looked at me. “Zayne filled us in on everything. The Harbinger is another Trueborn?”

“Yep.” I nodded.

“Just when you think you’re unique and special.” Roth grinned. “You find out you’re just another of the same thing.”

I arched a brow at him. “At least we now know what we’re dealing with.”

“But there’s still a lot of unanswered questions.”

Like the glowing spikes and strange marks, the video interference or what it was doing with the trapped souls.

“Do you think we’ll find something in this tunnel?” Layla asked.

“There was something written on the walls. I couldn’t make it out, but the tunnels have to be important, right?” I glanced between them. “I mean, how many cities have tunnels underground?”

“A lot actually,” Roth answered, his dark hair a spiky mess. “But in DC, half the tunnels were created by government administrations to get important people in and out of the city undetected. The other half, well, probably have more demonic origins.”

“Huh.” Learn something new every day.

“We’ve been in a few of them.” Layla glanced at Roth. “Not in a while, but they’re super creepy. The fact I’m willing to check them out again is proof of my dedication to the human race.”

“Or that you’re prone to making bad life choices,” Roth commented.

“That, too,” Layla sighed.

Completely relating to that, I smiled. “Did you know about the tunnels?”

Zayne nodded. “I know they’re there. All the Wardens do, but I don’t know many of the entrance or exit points or what they connect to, and I didn’t know there was one near the school.”

“I don’t think anyone has a map,” Roth said. “And I imagine a whole lot of unlucky fools have entered them to never be seen again.”

“Where did you fall in?” Layla looked toward the hill that led to the school.

“I can show you.” I started toward the sidewalk. “It won’t be too hard to find a Trinity-size hole in the ground.”

We started up the hill, Zayne ahead of us with Roth following close behind. Layla fell in step beside me. “Stacey told me,” she said when I glanced over at her. “That you saw...you saw Sam.”