Rage and Ruin (The Harbinger 2)

“It’s not bad,” I told him, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just uncomfortable as his heart pounded against mine.

And slowly, it did become better. For a few minutes, I didn’t think that would be possible, but it did, and when I tentatively moved, the sharp breath that left him sounded like a different kind of pain.

“Trinity,” he gasped as I tilted my hips up once more, and between the sound of my name and the interesting friction, it was becoming more than just better. “I’m trying to give you time.”

“I’ve had enough time.”

“Okay.” His eyes opened. “I’m trying to give myself time so this isn’t over before it even gets started.”

A grin tugged at my lips and then a wild laugh bubbled out of me. I moved, lifting my arms and wrapping them around his shoulders. I kissed his cheek.

“Have I told you that you drive me crazy?” he asked.

“Maybe.” Then, because there was a strange giddiness in me, I nipped his earlobe.

Zayne’s restraint snapped, and I guess he’d given himself enough time. He was moving. I was moving. Hands. Arms. Mouths. Hips. Legs. Wrapped together, there seemed to be no end or beginning, and everything swirled around the way we were joined together and that inexplicable deep coiling sensation.

When he lost all sense of rhythm, his back bowing, it happened. That moment. The rush of raw pleasure roaring through the bond, coming from him, coming from me, washing over us in endless waves and waves. We weren’t two. We were one.

As if it was always meant to be.

33

Sex changed nothing and everything.

It wasn’t like I was suddenly different, even though I did feel like I’d changed. That a small, hidden part that was just for me would never be the same again. It was a good feeling. It was also a strange feeling, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

It was even more strange, I thought, as I lay in bed and Zayne went to the kitchen, that when I’d gotten up this morning, I’d had no idea that this was going to happen.

Part of me still couldn’t believe it had happened. That we’d done it, and neither of us had been smitten or set on fire. My father hadn’t arrived—thank God—while Zayne and I had lain together afterward, arms and legs tangled, exploring each other in a different, less hurried but even more intense kind of way.

The grin on my face grew as I snuggled down under the comforter. There was a delicious heaviness to my limbs, and the moment I closed my eyes, I felt him, as if he was still with me. Cheeks burning, I rolled over and planted my face in the pillow and stayed that way, my giggle smothered.

After a few minutes, I heard Zayne ask, “What are you doing?”

“Meditating,” I said, repeating what Peanut had claimed earlier.

He laughed. “Interesting technique.”

Lifting my head, I rolled onto my side. Zayne had pulled on a pair of sweats, and that was it, so all I got at first was an eyeful of chest.

And that was nice.

More than nice.

Then I saw what he held in his hands.

I sat up so fast, I almost hurt myself. “You have cookies,” I said. “Cookies and soda.”

“Yeah. I was hungry. Figured you would be, too.”

“I’m always hungry.” I lifted a hand, wiggling my fingers. “But you’re eating cookies and drinking soda?”

“Thought tonight was the perfect night for gluttony.” His eyes had a hooded quality to them as he stared at me. “I’m sorry, what are we talking about? I’m so distracted now.”

Glancing down, I realized the comforter had pooled around my waist. “Oh.” I folded my arm over my chest. “Sorry.” I wiggled my fingers again. “Cookie?”

“I’m not.” Instead of handing over one of those amazing double-chocolate-chunk cookies I’d ordered, he placed them on the nightstand next to the two cans of soda. “Scoot up.”

Doing as he asked, I tugged the blanket up as I wiggled forward. The bed dipped behind me as Zayne settled in, propped against the headboard. I started to turn, but he snagged an arm around my waist and tugged me back between his legs. My bare back pressed to his chest, and as he reached for the cookies, I was struck by how infinitely more intimate this was than anything else we’d shared.

“Here.” He offered the cookie. “Let me know when you want your drink, and I’ll get it for you.”

“Thanks,” I whispered, taking one bite and then another. I heard the bag crinkle as Zayne fished out a cookie for himself. After a few minutes, I relaxed into him.

“Something I thought about when I was getting this stuff,” Zayne said, and I liked being this close when he talked. I could feel his words. “I hope to God Peanut wasn’t hanging around.”

I laughed, almost choking on my cookie. “If he was, I wasn’t aware.”

“That’s not the confirmation I was looking for.”

Grinning as I felt his lips coast over my shoulder, I said, “I don’t think he was. I can’t imagine him not saying anything by now.”

“Thirsty?” When I nodded, he reached for the soda, popped the tab and offered it to me. Another cookie ended up in my other hand. He shifted behind me, resting back against the headboard. “I could sleep like this.”

“Really?” I alternated between my cookie and my Coke.

“Yeah.” His arm tightened around my waist.

I grinned. “I think I could, too.”

“Minus the cookie and Coke.”

“I’d cuddle them.”

He chuckled, and that felt even better, but then he dropped his head to my neck, nuzzling there, sending a wicked little shiver down my spine. With no rules, Zayne was cuddly, touchy and sweet. Part of me wasn’t surprised to discover that. It was Zayne after all, but I was still a little surprised—pleasantly surprised. I never thought I’d be the type who enjoyed the causal touches or kisses, the way he was holding me so close, but I did. And I didn’t just enjoy it, I lo—

A cold, sharp slice swept through my stomach as I swallowed the last bit of chocolate. I didn’t just like any of this. There was a far stronger emotion that seemed even more dangerous to acknowledge now.

Nothing had happened yet, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a consequence waiting patiently for us around the next corner. No matter how right or beautiful what we’d just shared felt, it was forbidden, and as much as I hoped Zayne was right, that this rule was just a method of control, I feared he might be wrong.

Beyond that, our lives were... Well, either of us could bite the bullet tomorrow. This Trueborn—the Harbinger—was deadly. Zayne could die, and I...

“Hey,” he said softly, hand brushing my arm.

I closed my eyes, trying to stop the bombardment of fears, but it was like a floodgate being breached.

The Coke left my hand, ending up on the nightstand. Cool, damp fingers curled around my chin, turning my head toward his. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” I smiled, not wanting to ruin this.

His gaze flickered over my face. “Talk to me, Trin.”

Talk to me.

How many times had he said that to me? How many times had I blown it off, because talking meant giving breath and life to fears? It had always been easier to keep all of that neatly hidden away, but easier wasn’t always better.

It wasn’t always the right thing to do.

“I’m just... I’m scared that something is going to happen,” I admitted. “That there will be a consequence for this.”

“There might be, Trin.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re supposed to say something that reassures me. Not freaks me out more.”

“What I’m supposed to say is the truth.” He brushed his thumb along my lower lip. “Look at me.”

Opening my eyes, I was immediately snared in his pale gaze. “I’m looking.”

“No matter what happens, we’ll face it together. I didn’t kiss you without considering there could be a risk. I didn’t share with you what we just shared believing nothing could come from it.” His eyes searched mine. “I knew there was a risk for us—and there is an us. I also know that you’re worth the risk. That we’re worth the risk.”

A ripple of pleasure danced its way around my heart. “You always say the right thing.”

Zayne grinned at me. “You know that’s not true.”

“You say the right stuff a good ninety-five percent of the time.” I reached up and touched his jaw. “Together,” I whispered. “I like that. A lot.”

His hand slid up to cup my cheek. “Happy to hear that. If you didn’t, things would get a whole lot more awkward and annoying for you.”

“How so?”

“Because I have no plans of letting you go anytime soon,” he said, moving wickedly fast. Before I knew it, I was on my back and he was above me, his lips brushing mine as he said, “So, I’m glad to hear we’re on the same page.”

Then he kissed me, and yeah, we were definitely on the same page.

* * *

Zayne was perched on the parapet of one of the hotels not too far from Federal Triangle. In his Warden form, wings tucked back, he was a fearsome sight.

All day I’d kept waiting either for things to become weird between us or for an Alpha to randomly show up and mete out punishment.

Neither happened.

Well, things had been a little...goofy when I’d woken up this morning, all tangled up with him, and on and off throughout the day. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Wake him up, or somehow maneuver my way out of the bed without waking him? I’d suddenly been extremely concerned about morning breath. Zayne woke before I could make up my mind, kissing my cheek before rising. He’d beaten me to the shower. Later, when he walked past me, dropping his lips to the side of my neck instead of tugging gently on my hair or messing with my glasses had been a pleasant behavioral shift, but he had left me blushing and stammering. Training had started off normal, but the moment one of us got the other on the mat, we ended up staying there, kissing, touching, until Peanut drifted into the room and then back out, screaming something about his eyes.