‘That’s exactly what you’re doing,’ she shot back.
He glared at her, fury coursing through him. He took several steadying breaths, determined to remain calm. ‘You don’t understand.’
‘Then help me to understand,’ she implored. ‘Tell me what’s really going on, beneath this over-the-top aversion to being seen in public.’
Yet he knew he could never do that. Tell her about the fire, about how it was his fault? Reveal to her the man he truly was, the man he was afraid he always would be? It would end everything, but perhaps that was what they needed. These last few weeks had been nothing more than a mirage anyway. The realisation was painful but necessary.
‘Is this just about how people see you in public, Alex?’ Milly asked quietly. ‘Or is it something more?’
He stared at her for a long moment, his jaw clenched. ‘I don’t like to be reminded,’ he finally said, the words dredged up from deep inside him.
‘Of what? The accident?’
‘Yes. And...’ He paused, unwilling to say more, yet knowing Milly would not let it go. ‘I hate people looking at me with pity. It’s even worse than disgust.’
‘Have you given anyone a chance?’ Milly asked softly. ‘Perhaps they wouldn’t.’
‘Don’t be naïve, Milly.’
‘I’m not saying everyone would be understanding or accepting. I know the world doesn’t work that way, Alex. But I didn’t see you the way you thought I did. I still don’t, and I never will. What if you gave others the chance? What if you freed yourself from this prison of your own making?’
‘It’s not that simple—’
‘It is simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I know that.’ She gazed at him steadily, her heart in her eyes. Her heart. ‘I know I’m asking for a great deal. I do realise that, and I will understand if you refuse me. But for my sake, for Anna’s sake, for the family we might have one day together...will you try this once? If it all goes terribly wrong, I won’t ask again.’ She gave him a small, wry smile. ‘At least not for a long time.’
Improbably, his mouth twitched in the smallest of smiles. ‘At least you’re honest.’
‘I try to be. But will you do this one thing for me, Alex? Come to Rome? Go to the gala? I want to be there with you, and Anna wants it, as well. She reminded you of your sister, you said...’ She trailed off uncertainly, and he knew he hadn’t hid the flash of anguish he felt at the mention of his sister.
To bring Daphne into it...but Milly didn’t even know what she was saying. What memories she was dredging up like old, painful ghosts, haunting him. Always haunting him.
‘Please,’ Milly whispered.
And even though everything in him resisted, even though he knew it would be hard and no doubt humiliating, he did the one thing he’d never expected to do. He said yes.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
OUTSIDE THE PENTHOUSE suite stars twinkled in a darkening sky as the lights of Rome glittered below. They’d arrived in the Eternal City this morning, and the charity gala was in less than an hour.
After lunch together in their luxurious suite, Alex had insisted on Milly pampering herself at the hotel’s beauty spa, as well as arranging for a stylist to come in with several incredible evening gowns for her to choose from. She’d selected a column-style gown of burgundy lace, with heels dyed to match, and had her hair swept back into a loose chignon, a few wisps framing her expertly made-up face.
Looking in the mirror, Milly hardly recognised herself, and excitement along with nerves fizzed in her stomach. She was going out for the evening...with her husband.
Milly had been both humbled and gratified by Alex’s willingness to do this for her. They hadn’t spoken again of the evening or what to expect, and now, with it looming closer, she couldn’t help but worry. What if it all went horribly wrong? What if people stared and whispered, or made Alex retreat even further into himself?
She wanted to believe it wouldn’t happen that way; she desperately hoped this evening could be the beginning of a new life for them both.
A new life... The words caused a fluttering of panic inside her. They had now been married for nearly two months and the pregnancy test had remained in the bottom of Milly’s bag, tucked away out of sight. With each passing day, she was realising she had no need to take it; her body told its own story.
Her breasts felt fuller, and she still hadn’t got her period. Even more tellingly, in the last few days she’d started feeling nauseous in the mornings. She might have been innocent but she knew enough to recognise the signs. She was almost certainly pregnant.
But if you don’t take the test, you can’t say for sure.
She wasn’t ready to tell Alex that she was having his child. She wasn’t ready for things to change between them, as she knew they would, and the fear that lodged behind her breastbone like a cold, hard stone was that once he found out she was expecting, he would send her back to Naxos and be done with her...just as he’d said he would before they’d married. One child was all he needed. He’d promised he wouldn’t touch her after that.
Milly knew things had changed since they’d made that businesslike agreement...but how much? Despite the passion and intimacy they enjoyed in bed, in many ways Alex still felt like a stranger, cloaking himself with an emotional remoteness she was starting to hate...because he was a stranger she was falling in love with.
She certainly hadn’t meant to. She’d been determined to guard her heart, had convinced herself after all the bad examples and experiences she had that she wasn’t interested in love. But now Milly knew that for the fantasy it had always been. She wasn’t just interested in love...she was desperate for it. Why else would she have fallen so easily for the far too glib lies of Philippe?