Her heart felt like a bird fluttering in her chest. ‘Why not?’ she whispered.
‘Because I want to say something first.’
She swallowed hard. She had no idea what he was going to say, but she feared it. He looked so serious, so intent. ‘All right,’ she finally managed.
Alex bowed his head. Several moments passed before he looked up again, and when he did Milly saw the sheen of tears in his eyes. ‘Milly, I’m sorry. So, so sorry.’
‘For...what?’
‘For letting you down. I never should have...there are so many things I shouldn’t have done.’ He drew a shuddering br
eath. ‘I shouldn’t have assumed things on our wedding night that made it such a disaster. I shouldn’t have asked to have the marriage annulled. I shouldn’t have pushed you away, time and time again, because...because I was a coward. An emotional coward.’
‘Alex...’
‘And most of all, I shouldn’t have kept myself from telling you that I love you.’
Milly felt as if her heart had somersaulted in her chest. For a few seconds she couldn’t make sense of the words, was afraid to trust them. ‘You...’
‘Love you. Yes. I think I fell in love with you right from the beginning, although I convinced myself I felt nothing. And over these last few weeks...the time we’ve spent together...the courage and kindness you’ve shown...’
‘Courage!’ Milly let out a trembling laugh. ‘I was as much a coward as you, Alex. Why do you think I said nothing that night in Rome?’
He winced, shaking his head. ‘That was my fault...’
‘It was mine, as well. After so many years of feeling pushed aside and unloved, I let those fears govern my head and heart. I wanted to tell you I’d fallen in love with you, but I didn’t because I was scared.’ She shook her head, regret turning her voice ragged. ‘It was the same reason I didn’t tell you I was pregnant. I was afraid that once you found out I was, you’d send me away. Tell me you didn’t need or want me any more.’
Alex grimaced. ‘And that’s just what I did, because I thought it was for the best...except I didn’t, really. I didn’t at all. The last three weeks have been hell for me, Milly. I’ve picked up the phone a dozen times a day to ring you, but I never did, because I was too proud. Too afraid.’ He shook his head. ‘And I left you alone while you were pregnant...if something had happened to our child...’
She reached over to take his hand between both of her own. ‘Alex, you have carried the weight of the world on your shoulders for too long. You can’t blame yourself for everything.’
‘But if I’d been there—’
‘I still would have walked into Halki on my own. Do you really think you could have stopped me? And if it hadn’t been a walk into the village, it might have been on the stairs, or going down to the beach... You’re not God, Alex. You can’t control everything, and you can’t blame yourself every time something goes wrong.’
He was silent for a long moment, staring down at their clasped hands. ‘But it was my anger, my pride and my shame that kept us apart, just as before. I was too proud to admit I was wrong, and too ashamed to risk telling you how I felt.’
‘But you are now,’ Milly said softly. Her heart was filling up to overflowing with hope and happiness. ‘And that’s what matters. What we say now. The past is in the past, Alex...all the pain and hurt and regret. It’s shaped who we are, but it doesn’t have to shape our future. It can’t be changed, but it can be redeemed.’
‘Do you really believe that?’ he asked hoarsely.
‘Yes, with all my heart.’
Alex looked at her, his hand still clasped between hers, his expression utterly serious. ‘Did you mean what you said, Milly? About having fallen in love with me?’
Her mouth was dry, tears brimming in her eyes, as she answered. ‘With all my heart.’
‘Why?’
He sounded so incredulous, she couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Because you’re wonderful, Alexandro Santos. You’re kind and thoughtful and courageous and honest. And you’re quite handsome, as well.’
‘Handsome—’ he scoffed, but she shook her head, pressing her palm against his scarred cheek.
‘Devastatingly handsome and sexy to boot. I love you, Alex. I’ve fallen in love with you over the last few months, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, if you’ll let me.’ It felt so good to say the words, so freeing and wonderful. Not scary after all, in the end, and definitely worth the risk.
‘If I’ll let you? I’ll count myself blessed to do so. All I want to do is make up for lost time, Milly, and love you for the rest of my days.’
‘Starting now?’ Milly said softly.