“No,” he said. “That’s not why.”
“Why?”
“You never make anything easy, do you?”
“No, I don’t. Tell me why.”
Ian rested his forehead against hers. His hands held her by the waist. They were so close they were breathing the same air.
“Because I want to, because I want to be closer to you, because I want you to feel like I’m serious about being with you. And because I don’t want anything standing between us and you seem to think there is. I promise, nothing’s going to come between us except what you want between us.”
Flash shivered and it wasn’t from the cool night air.
“I don’t want anything between us,” she said. She lifted her wet hands and slicked his hair back from his face. She wanted to see his eyes. They were burning blue like the hottest part of a flame. His lips were slightly parted. He was breathing hard and so was she.
“Neither do I. But if it’s
too soon—”
“It’s not too soon.”
“Because if it is too soon—”
“I’m in love with you, Ian, and I have been for a long time. It’s not too soon.”
Ian’s eyes flashed with surprise.
“You’re what?”
“I’m in love with you and I have been for a long time.”
“How long?” He sounded so surprised she almost laughed except now wasn’t the time for that. “I know you said you wanted me from the day I started at work, but that’s not...that’s not love.”
“Since that night in June. Six months. That’s why—”
“That’s why it hurt you so much when I had to break it off with you.”
“That’s why,” she said. “I had a crush on you at work, that’s all. You were sexy and I liked you, wanted you. But I didn’t let myself have strong feelings for you until that night. I hadn’t planned on it. I wasn’t gunning for you. I never thought in a million years anything would really happen with us other than work flirting. We went back to your place and we had crazy sex and then you asked me to spend the night, which I didn’t expect. I woke up at about 4:00 am and thought I should probably just sneak out. I tried and you woke up and caught me. You remember?”
“I remember.”
“And you pulled me back into bed with you and you kissed me senseless and then you got on top of me and got inside me again and when you pushed in you said my name. You said—”
“Veronica.”
She closed her eyes and remembered that moment he entered her, the way her name had fallen from his lips like he’d been holding his breath, and when he exhaled, it was her name that he breathed. He’d never said her name before—only Flash, never Veronica. She’d forgotten he’d known her real name and then to hear him say it in that breathless desperate way while he was penetrating her, it was like he’d cut her open all the way to her heart.
“The way you said it like it was a magic word or something, like you were asking me for something or begging me for something or praying for something, but it got to me. It was just about sex before then. And when you said my name, my real name, then it was real.”
“It was real,” Ian said. “It was the most real night I’d ever spent with anyone.”
“I’m telling you this because you said you didn’t want anything between us. Now that I’ve told you there’s one less thing between us.”
Ian ran his hands up and down her sides, over her breasts, over her chest, over her neck and up to her face.
“Veronica...” he whispered.
“I’m here.”