“Clover—”
“Thursday, Mom.”
“Clover Greene—”
“Yup, that’s my name all right. Bye!”
8
CLOVER HUNG UP on her mother. She’d never done that before. She’d never hung up the phone on her own mother. If only she could say it felt good, but it didn’t feel good. Quite honestly, she felt like shit. Thrilled? Her family was thrilled she was dating someone? That would make sense if she’d been in a car accident and the doctors said she wouldn’t survive and, lo and behold, six months later she was walking, talking and dating again. That would be an accomplishment. That would be something to be thrilled about. And all that stuff about Erick and babies? Where did her mother get off saying she shouldn’t date a man with a teenage daughter? Her mother knew nothing about Erick. Erick could want zero babies or twenty babies and her mother wouldn’t know. Clover didn’t even know if Erick wanted more children. Clover didn’t know and Clover didn’t care. All she cared about was surviving the holiday without losing her mind, and if this was how her family was going to act, she might as well check herself into the hospital and stay there until January 2.
She put her head down on the table and forced herself to breathe. She had to breathe. If she didn’t breathe, she would cry,
and she didn’t want to cry. When her family got to her like this she’d cry and it would take an hour before she could make herself stop. In, she breathed. Out, she breathed. In...out... Erick was wonderful...she breathed that in. Erick liked her and respected her...she breathed that out. Her business was a success and she had a lot to be proud of...she breathed that in. She didn’t need her family’s approval to feel good about her life...she breathed that out.
Clover heard a sound, a soft tapping on glass. She raised her head and saw Erick standing on her deck, knocking on the back door. When she opened the door she didn’t let him inside. She just stepped forward into his arms.
“Whoa, baby. What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling her close to him, wrapping his arms tight around her.
“I called my mother. Why did I do that?”
“Temporary insanity?” he asked, and she laughed.
“That’s definitely it.”
“What did she say? Tell me all about it so I can tell you how wrong she is.”
“Give me a minute. I just... I need this.” As embarrassing as it was to stand on her deck in the drizzle and cling to Erick like a life preserver, she did it, anyway, because someone in need of a life preserver clung to it no matter how ridiculous she looked or felt doing it.
Erick held her against him. He ran his large strong hands up and down her back, massaged her tight shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
“Tell me all about it,” he said softly. “Get it out.”
“It’s like...” Clover paused and tried to figure out a way to explain it. “It reminds of something that happened right before I had my reduction surgery. I was a little overweight—only about twenty pounds, but it was enough I couldn’t fit into my favorite clothes. The older I got, the harder it was to deal with my breasts. I couldn’t jog or even go for long walks. So I had the surgery and could finally exercise. Between the surgery in July and Christmas when I saw my family again, I’d had the reduction and lost the twenty pounds. I went down two dress sizes. That’s it. Not a huge change, right?”
“Nope.”
“But when my family saw me, they went crazy. They told me over and over and over again how great I looked. Compliments, right? I mean, a normal person would take compliments as compliments. But it didn’t feel like a compliment. It felt like an insult. Was I that hideous before I lost the twenty pounds that they’d make that big a deal out of losing the weight? I thought I looked pretty good before, you know?” She looked up at Erick. “So now it’s happening again. They’re acting like it’s some kind of miracle I’m dating someone. They’re ‘thrilled’ for me. I didn’t win the lottery. I didn’t wake up from a coma. I’m seeing someone and they’re thrilled. My mom says she’s thrilled. My sister is freaking out. Even my brother and his wife texted me trying to get details about you. All thrilled, they say. And I should be thrilled they’re thrilled, right? Am I the worst daughter ever?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
“Well...you may not want to hear this, but I have a theory about your family.”
“I want to hear your theory. What do you think it is?”
“To use a technical term, they’re all a bunch of assholes.”
Clover’s eyes flew wide-open. She took a step back from him.
“What?”
“Your family sounds like they’re assholes. No offense. I’ve got a few assholes in my family, too. Ruthie has more than once accused me of being one of them.”
“My mother loves me, Erick. She wants what’s best for me. She just doesn’t know how to show it without making me feel...”
“What? How does your mother make you feel?”