Her Naughty Holiday (Men at Work 2)

“That’s evil,” Ruthie said. “Pops is evil.”

“How is that evil?” Clover asked as they stood by the baggage claim belt waiting for Ruthie’s other suitcase to appear.

“Pops is rigging the game so I have to go to college or you two won’t move in together. And since I want you two together, I have to go to college.”

“Trust me, gentle manipulation is preferable to parental passive-aggression. I speak from many years of experience.”

“Yeah, how did Thanksgiving go with your family?”

“Your dad didn’t tell you?”

“All he said was it was more a Spanks-giving than a Thanksgiving, but he’d let you give me the details.”

“I told my entire family off and kicked them out of the house.”

“Dammit.” Ruthie sighed. “I always miss the good fights.”

“Don’t swear, dear,” Clover said. “It’s not ladylike.”

“Yes, Mommy Dearest.”

Erick met them in the parking lot and Clover was relieved to see father and daughter immediately fall back into their affectionate bickering and snarking at each other. No awkwardness. No weirdness. Erick complimented her Smurf hair. Ruthie ordered him to trim his beard before someone mistook him for a hipster, the lowest form of life in Ruthie’s opinion.

“I’m thinking of shaving the beard and doing the waxed mustache thing,” Erick said, putting Ruthie’s suitcases into Clover’s car trunk. “Thoughts?”

“No,” Ruthie said. “Clover?”

“I’ve always had a little crush on Poirot. But you’ll have to shave your head, too.”

“Done,” Erick said.

“I rescind my permission for you two to date,” Ruthie said from the backseat.

“It was fun while it lasted,” Clover said. “Thanks for playing.”

“All my best to you in your future endeavors.” Erick shook Clover’s hand.

“Oh, shut up,” Ruthie said. “You two are so cute it’s gross. Please take me home. I need a shower and all the leftover turkey.”

“We have nearly twelve pounds left over,” Clover said as Erick pulled out of the parking lot. “I kicked my family out before we could eat.”

“And you didn’t let them come back?” Ruthie asked.

“Nope. I wanted to but your dad said I should make them sit on it awhile. He was right. By the end of Friday night they’d all called me to apologize. Even my brother, who never apologizes. And poor Kelly—turns out she and her husband are having trouble. Mike wants more kids and she doesn’t. They’ve almost separated over it.”

“So that’s why she’s been trying to shove her happy-wife, happy-life crap down your throat for the past year?”

“I think she was trying to convince herself how perfect her life was. She and Mike are going to counseling. She said me yelling at her was a wake-up call for her. Of course she would take my pain and suffering and make it about her, but hey, baby steps, right?”

“I’m proud of you, Clo. Kicking your family out is baller. Bring it here.” Ruthie fist-bumped her from the backseat.

“You’re just happy we have so much leftover food,” Erick said.

“This is Woman Bonding time. Men do not have permission to speak,” Ruthie said, snapping her fingers shut like a trap.

“Ahh...now I remember why I was so happy when I put you on that plane,” he said with a sigh.

Ruthie shushed him and turned her attention to Clover again, mouthing the word men and rolling her eyes.