Things We Never Said (Hart's Boardwalk 3)

But I could handle it, I reminded myself.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Have you had sex yet?”

“Dillon!”

She glared at me. “What? You told me when you had sex with Gary.”

“You know this is different.”

Tears shone in her eyes, and she looked away. “I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

I sighed. “We haven’t had sex.” We hadn’t had time. Whenever we saw each other, we usually ended up talking in his car for hours. He hated his apartment in Southie and wouldn’t let me near it. And Michael didn’t want our first time to be in his car. I didn’t care where we did it. I just wanted him. And tonight was the night. I’d decided. I’d even bought sexy lingerie to surprise him.

Guilt suffused me at my excitement.

Dillon was lying in a hospital bed while I planned to seduce my boyfriend.

“Good.” She harrumphed.

“Are you mad that I’m with Michael or tha

t I’m not in that hospital bed instead of you?” I dared to ask.

“I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy,” she replied.

I winced. “Then, it’s still about Michael?”

She was silent so long, I didn’t think she was going to speak. Then, “He’s the first guy I ever wanted to sleep with. I don’t know if I loved him … but I wanted him.” She rolled her head to look at me. “If I weren’t lying here, I could be out there, making his decision to choose you harder by reminding him how awesome I am. Instead, I’m a cripple who no guy will ever want again.”

There was so much in that to hate, and I had to remind myself that Dillon wasn’t herself right now. “You’re not a cripple. You will walk again, and it’ll happen faster once you fight. Not me. Not the doctors. But fight for you.” I sucked in a breath and stood up. She followed my movement. “And once you’re out of here and you’re walking again, I can’t stop you from pursuing Michael if you want to. But I’ll tell you something I haven’t even told him … I love him, Dillon. Like, can’t breathe without him kind of love.” Tears blurred my eyes. “You have to know that because you have to know I would never let a guy come between us otherwise. I met him before I knew who he was to Gary, and he and I have had a connection ever since. He never meant to hurt you. We were both pretty mixed up about it, and I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire.”

I approached her bed as I saw her chin wobble with emotion. “I adore you. I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you and I will do almost anything to make that up to you. But giving up Michael would be like cutting off my arm.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks and hope filled me.

I reached for her, and that hope deflated when she turned her head away. “I’m tired.”

Dropping my arm, I nodded. With a heavy heart, I slipped out of her hospital room.

* * *

Hours later, the need to disappear in Michael was greater than ever. As soon as he pulled his car to a stop in the dark, empty lot by the woods, I jumped him.

He laughed against my mouth, his hands firm on my waist, and he broke the kiss with a breathless chuckle. “No ‘Hi, dahlin’, how was your day’?”

I shook my head, my whole body buzzing with need. Frantic, almost. “I want you.”

Michael groaned. “Fuck, you know I want you too, but not in the car.”

“Your apartment, then.”

“I told you that place is a shithole. I’m not taking you there. My lease is up soon, I’ll get a nicer place, and then we’re good to go.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Do you not want me?”

His expression was incredulous. “Do you know how many cold showers I’ve taken these past two months? In fact, longer than that.” He lifted his right hand. “I’ve grown more acquainted with this hand than I ever fuckin’ did as a horny, blue-balled teenager.”