Welcome to E. Mayberry

“No,” I said.

That was all I said. No explanation needed. None could be given. It seemed with him, none was expected.

Later that evening, Bastian was back to reading his book when he got a message on his phone.

“Shit, I forgot about that,” he said.

“About what?”

“There’s a Homeowner’s Association meeting tonight. I have to go to it.”

“Aww, can’t you get out of it and stay here in bed watching TV with me?”

“I wish I could but it’s one of the…”

“…rules,” I finished for him. “Of course it is.”

I laughed, not being sarcastic. I’d started to understand how it went around Erotic Mayberry. Certain rules kept things in order.

“So let’s go,” I said.

“You want to go with me?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “You’ve had a rough day. You need to rest.”

“Rough?” I said with a laugh. “THAT was NOT rough. Rough is standing on your feet all day greeting customers, rough is a holiday gift wrapper at a department store or an ice cream server in Arizona. THAT was NOT rough.”

“Well,” he said. “Come on then. Get dressed. Put on something comfortable. Easy to bend over in.”

“Seriously?” I said. “This isn’t going to be a normal meeting?”

“Is anything in this place how you expect it to be?”

The community hall was like any other. The building looked old fashioned even though I suspected it had been built in the past twenty years. Concrete steps led up to the front door which had two large, white, concrete columns on each side.

A few strangers went in ahead of us, everyone dressed up elegantly. My dress looked like something I’d wear on a first date, all black with black heels. My hair was up in a bun.

“I feel like I’m going to prom,” I said.

“You look like you’re going to prom,” he said. “And that’s a compliment. You look…edible.”

Inside, the meeting was about to start so we quickly took side by

side seats. The room was filled with long, cafeteria dining room looking tables. Everyone sat next to someone else as if waiting to be served a school lunch.

Kendall led the discussion, banging her wooden gavel down on a podium.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, owners and pets,” she said.

Different greetings sounded off from around the room.

“Let’s go ahead and get started. I know you guys have stuff to do. I’m sure Andrea has a roast in the oven or something,” she said while pointing at a woman I supposed was Andrea.

Everyone laughed. Another joke I must’ve needed to be there at the last meeting to get. A glance around the room told me I wasn’t the only pet at the meeting. I saw Pasha over at the coffee machine when I went to get Bastian and me a drink. Bree was there somewhere too but the place was massive so I couldn’t see them from my seat. Other pets were noticeable from the necklaces they wore. Most looked as bored as I was.

The meeting was as tedious as any other I’d been to in the past. Nothing great. People took turns at the microphone, talking about their different committees. Then something was said about pet grooming and how it was mandatory before the big annual Harvest Festival. Everyone seemed happy about the celebration.