Welcome to E. Mayberry

Rule #30: At the end of the year Harvest Festival, all pets must participate in the final drawing and all owners must participate in the closing ceremony. (submitted by Chris G.)

Rule #31: Asking to borrow brown sugar is code for “I want to fuck you.” This is helpful for owners and pets who are uneasy or uncomfortable with verbal encounters. Simply ask for a cup of brown sugar and it will be understood that you are horny and wish to be fucked. (submitted by Jocqueline P.)

Rule #32: Not mandatory, but owners are encouraged to swap pets at least once a week. (submitted by Tracey P.)

Rule #33: When a pet is being reprimanded (punished), they are not to look any other owners or pets in the eye unless authorized by their owner. (submitted by Liz A.)

Rule #34: All owners are authorized to visit daily yoga sessions (and new pet orientation training) and correct postures/positions at any time. Owners often have a lot of tips and experiences to share with neighborhood pets. (submitted by Donna M.)

Rule #35: Children are not allowed inside Erotic Mayberry. Special necklaces have been provided to each pet (and patches to owners) to prevent pregnancy. As much as we love children, our neighborhood is not a child-friendly environment. (submitted by Chris G.)

Rule #36: When owners are involved in neighborhood book club activities or required reading, any pet who disturbs them while reading will not be allowed to come or experience oral sex until said owner has finished the book/activity assigned. (submitted by Chrisstine P.)

Rule #37: Safe words will always be respected. Whether an owner or a pet, trust shall never be violated. (submitted by Anne L.)

Rule #38: If a dominant owner requests this (not mandatory in homes where it is not enforced), pets must wait for owners in the SUB position when the owner gets home, to show they are prepared to play. (submitted by Anne. L.)

Rule #39: If you are caught masturbating, you are to give head to/go down on whoever catches you and you get nothing in return. (submitted by Amber E.)

Rule #40: All TV channels above 200 are reserved for homeowner live bedroom feeds. The channel number corresponds to the home’s address. All owners will have cameras installed during the building of their home. In the effort of allowing owners (and pets) to have some privacy, the cameras will only activate when the TV is turned to a channel above 200. The idea is if you want to watch, you should also allow yourself to be watched. (submitted by Chris G.)

Rule #41: No pet is allowed to come without permission. Orgasms are by permission only. (submitted by Toi A.)

Rule #42: Every full moon the president of the HOA will hold a themed party at her/his house. Everyone must attend. (submitted by Teresa B.)

Rule #43: If you are caught spying on someone while they have sex, you must come and join. (submitted by Amber E.)

Rule #44: When greeting friends, a slip of the tongue is a totally acceptable greeting. A kiss on the cheek is only acceptable when feeling under the weather. (submitted by Cate H.)

Rule #45: An excessive amount of rule violations will result in punishment to be carried out in public. Means of punishment will be determined by HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Marcy B.)

Rule #46: No Erotic Mayberry neighbor shall have sexual relations with a non-neighbor. We keep a clean and respectable environment which cannot be soiled by outsiders. If in pursuit of a new pet and it is found necessary, proceed with caution. Once inside the gate, all new pets will visit the neighborhood doctor and will go through a series of medical exams to ensure no sexually transmitted diseases have been brought into Erotic Mayberry. (submitted by Martina M. and Edeth C.)