He had to try at least one more time. Had to make her see he wasn’t with Sylvia, and his heart belonged to her alone. “I do love you. I don’t have a doubt in my mind. I might be an actor that is good at faking things, and therefore an asshole in your eyes, but I know what I feel. And I know you care about me, too. I know you’re scared to believe me, but I’m telling the truth. I’m not with her. I want to be with you.”
She stopped at the top of the stairs. “Give me one good reason to trust you.”
“Have I ever lied to you before?”
“Yes.” She turned around and met his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You told me you would write to me, and you never did.”
And just like that, his last shred of hope unraveled and fell to the floor. He couldn’t say anything to that. Nothing that would change her mind. “I’m sorry,” he said, knowing he’d lost. Knowing he had already broken her trust. “I really am.”
She bit her lip. “It doesn’t change anything.”
“What can I do to prove myself? Please. Tell me what I can do.”
“Short of broadcasting it on national television? Not a damn thing.”
He shook his head. He couldn’t do that. “I can’t say it was a publicity stunt. They’d eat both of us alive, and both of our PR firms would flip.”
“We couldn’t have anything so horrible happen, now could we?” she asked softly, her hands rolled into fists. “Just go away, and go back to Hollywood where you belong, Mark. You sure as hell don’t belong here anymore.”
His shoulders drooped as he helplessly watched her stalk down the hallway and into her room. The echo of the door slamming behind her shook him out of his regret and pain. Her words couldn’t be truer. He lived in a world where no one ever told the truth, and every move was calculated and designed for the best possible publicity. The only time he’d ever broken from tradition and did something for the sheer pleasure of it was tonight, in Lacey’s arms. He hadn’t felt so alive in years. Eight long, long years. And now he was supposed to just let her walk away? Now he should go back to living the life of a zombie, as good as dead, with nothing inside of him but schedules, appearances, and movie dates?
He couldn’t. Wouldn’t.
Chapter Six
Lacey leaned against the door, closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her heart hammering in her ears. At least it drowned out the small voice whispering, “He’s telling the truth. Don’t screw this up now.” But when she’d seen him on TV, making out with a perfect blonde, something inside her broke. Some small part of her had been hoping when he returned to bed he’d tell her he loved her, or wanted to try to make their relationship into something real.
Something more than the fling it was.
Foolish? Yes. But she couldn’t deny she would’ve been happy to hear him say the words. But instead, she got a cold, hard dose of reality thrown in her face. It was more effective than a bucket of ice water could have been in reminding her how unrealistic her dreams were. Even if they did become a couple, how long until he traded her in for a better, prettier, more famous person? Why would he tie himself down to one boring schoolteacher from Colorado, no matter how close they had been in the past?
When he dared to mention love to her, she wanted to slam her hands
over her ears and shut him out before he broke what little part of her heart she still owned. She’d been sure it couldn’t fracture more than it already had, but he’d proven her wrong. Apparently, when it came to Mark, she had plenty of heart to go around. Why had he said he loved her? Why did he bother to try and convince her of his love, when he so obviously wasn’t looking to stay in her life?
Even if he told her the truth about being single, he would still have to return to California. He would still return to the parties, booze, and women. How long would it be before he was naked in someone else’s bed? Hours? Weeks? Months? No, she wasn’t going to put herself through the heartache.
The doorknob jiggled behind her and she jumped forward in surprise. Reaching out, she fumbled with the lock in an attempt to latch it before he could open the door. But it was too late. Mark shoved through the narrow opening, his jaw hard and his eyes intent on her. She backed away from him, her heart racing. She knew that look all too well. It was the same one he would get when the rival football team came to town. But this was no game, and Lacey was nobody’s prize.
“I told you to leave me alone,” she said, thankful her voice had come out steady. “I’m done talking to you.”
He shut the door behind him. “Well, I’m not done talking. If you don’t want to say another word, then don’t. But I’ll talk anyway. I’ve never been one to give up easily, and I’m not about to do so now.”
He walked toward her, slow and steady, but she backed up more. When her legs hit the bed, she sank down on it and clutched the bedspread in her fists. Stubbornly, she refused to say anything.
He stopped when he reached the bed, his feet squared off with hers. “I do love you. I’m even willing to wait until you feel the same about me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Gee, how thoughtful of you.”
“I don’t think it will take very long, because no one can hide their feelings from me. I’m like a human lie detector, and I know you have feelings for me.” She opened her mouth to deny feeling anything but anger for him, but he continued on. “I also know you know I wouldn’t sleep with you if I was with someone else. You know I’m telling the truth, but you won’t let yourself believe me. You know what I think? I think you’re punishing me for not writing to you like I said I would. Punishing the stupid boy I was, instead of accepting me here and now.”
“I didn’t realize you earned a psychology degree while you were away,” she muttered, staring at her lap.
“Do you deny that, despite your doubts at first, you realize I’m not with her?”
She opened her mouth ready to deny the truth. To lie through her teeth. But instead she said, “I don’t even know anymore.”
He dropped to his knees, looking up at her from the floor wearing nothing more than a pair of black pants. “I love you, Lacey. I’ve always loved you, but didn’t want to be tied down to anyone or anything. I didn’t want a relationship getting in the way of my career, competing with it. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, and I knew it. Even when I got here tonight, I tried to remind myself how selfish it is to want you. To have you.”