She shook her head. “No.”
“Then what is it?” He stopped pacing. “What do you want from me?”
She crossed her arms. They weren’t having this discussion in public, where Chris could come along. But was that really her issue? Or did she just want to stall? “Not here.”
He reached down, grabbed her hand, and practically dragged her up the stairs to her room. Once inside, he shut the door and locked it. Then, he turned the TV on and cranked up the volume. “There. He won’t hear a thing. Now spill it.”
Now that the time had come, she was having second thoughts. Again. When would this fear stop crippling her? When would she move on with her life, and stop living in the past? “I want to…”
Unable to say the words, she launched herself at him, hoping her actions could say the words she couldn’t seem to form. Closing her hands around the back of his neck, she yanked him down and crushed his lips to hers. For a brief second, she thought he would push her away. His hands hung at his sides, not touching her. Then, he let out a groan and grabbed her hips, backing her toward the bed.
She bit back a victory yell, letting him lead her. As soon as her legs hit the mattress, she spun and shoved him down on the bed. He blinked up at her, and she straddled him before he could move. He closed his hands around her waist, and flexed his jaw. “Is this what you wanted from me, Kiersten?”
“Yes.” And no. Of course she wanted more, but for now, this need seemed more urgent. They could talk later, after this hunger eating her alive was fed. She reached down and grabbed his hands, trapping them on either side of his head. She brushed against his erection, the hard length of him sending pleasure jolting through her blood. “And I know you want it, too. I can feel it.”
He arched his hips against her, looking almost as if he didn’t want to. “I do. But I also want more. I want to be more.”
“I know. I just can’t…” say the words. “I want…you. I want this. Us. Together.”
There. She’d told him what she wanted. That wasn’t so hard.
She cupped his face tenderly, like he always did to her, and lowered her face. His eyes drifted shut, and then his mouth was on hers. And his hands were everywhere. His tongue probed her mouth, finding hers without a second of wasted breath. His fingers slid into her hair, holding her still as he ravished her mouth. But he didn’t need to hold her still. There was nowhere else she’d rather be right now.
She broke free of his mouth, nibbled a path down his neck, and bit down on his shoulder. He hissed and arched his neck, giving her better access. His hands slid down her back, over the curve of her butt, and around her thighs. From there, he went up her stomach and grasped her breasts. They were so sensitive and painful that she almost pushed him away.
But it didn’t hurt. It felt freaking amazing.
He seemed to know she might be sore. He gently clasped her, and asked, “Is this okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”
How did he know about that? Oh. The book. “It’s fine. Just don’t stop.”
Grasping his hair, she slammed her mouth down on his, conveying without words that she wouldn’t break if he touched her. He was holding himself back, and she didn’t want that. She wanted all of him.
He moaned into her mouth and rolled her beneath him, cradling his weight on either side of her. His arms were wrapped around her tight, and she felt safe. Loved. It was a new feeling, and one that both frightened and thrilled her. She fought down her usual instinct to push him back and take control. To break free of his hold.
The only man she had let have control in bed was Garrett. In the past, she had always needed to be the one holding the reins. With him, it felt good to let go. To let someone else make the decisions. He slid his hands down her leg and pressed his fingers against her heat. She rolled her hips against him, begging for more.
He seemed to get the message. He undid her jeans, which were starting to get too tight around the waist, and rolled them down her legs. Her panties quickly followed, and soon she was nearly naked. When she was clothed in nothing but her bra, she shielded her belly with her hand. She was getting bigger. She might only be a few months in, but she felt like an elephant already.
He frowned and yanked her hands away from her stomach. “Don’t do that. That’s my baby in there. And you’re beautiful.”
“But—”
He kissed her into silence, then pulled back. He turned the TV up even louder, drowning out any noise they might make. “No buts. Now shut up and kiss me again.”
“Yes, sir.”
As their tongues entwined, she undid his pants. He helped her, and then yanked his shirt over his head. He sat back on his haunches, his eyes eating up every inch of her body. “I don’t have a condom,” he gritted. “Do you?”
“Yeah, but…” She was already pregnant, so they didn’t need to worry about that, obviously. She hesitated. She’d never done this without protection. Not even with Pete. Those trust issues, again. “Are you clean?”
He froze. “I am.”
“Then we don’t need one.”
He swallowed hard. “Are you sure? I’ve never…”
“Me either.” She opened her arms. “Now shut up and kiss me.”