She choked on a laugh. “You hate cats.”
“I know.” He laughed lightly. “But you love them.”
Despite herself, Tara grinned and shook her head. She toyed with the tag. “Is this supposed to make me forgive you? A cute pet?”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Well, that and the speech I have ready.”
“You have a speech?”
“Yep. I wrote it down and everything.” He paused. “Right before I left for war, we went to the mall and walked around the pet store. Do you remember?”
Tara closed her eyes, picturing the shop with perfect clarity. He’d been so skinny and young then, in his black jeans and gray T-shirt. He’d been watching her in the store that night with a tender expression on his face. He’d been different that night. Something about the way he’d touched her, smoothing her hair behind her ear like he’d done a million times before, had caused her heart to skip.
It had been the night they almost slept together. The night she’d given herself to him completely, and he’d left her. “Yeah. I remember.”
“You saw an orange kitten, and you wanted to buy him. I offered to get him for you”—Jake gave a little laugh—“even though I was broke. But you said—”
She closed her eyes. “Grandma would kill me.”
“Yeah. You sounded so sad, and you held your hand out to him and sighed. He pawed at your fingers through the cage, and you bit down hard on your lip. You seemed so determined not to want him, but you obviously did. Then you straightened your spine and walked away without looking back.”
Tara swallowed hard. “How do you remember all of that?”
“Because when you walked away from that cat, he watched you with big, sad eyes. I couldn’t help thinking that one day…I’d be that cat.” He sighed. “That I’d be the one watching you walk away without looking back. So I walked away first.”
Tara stared down at the kitten. “Yeah, you did. You left and you never came back.”
“I know. That’s one of the reasons I left that night. I had to be the one to do it. But I also knew I was too depraved for you. Too dark.” He drew in a ragged breath. “You needed a prince, not a pauper.”
“I didn’t care about any of that,” she whispered. “And you know it.”
“I know. I was scared.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“And after that, when I finally got to be with you again, I had to lie to you and play you. I know you’re mad. I know you hate me right now, but I think we could love each other so damn much if you gave me another chance. No more lies. No more tricks.”
Her heart twisted. “Jake…”
“I was wrong when I said I couldn’t be the old Jake around you anymore. The truth was, I thought he was dead. I thought I lost him in Afghanistan. But then you came back into my life, and—” He broke off and was quiet for a moment. “You did it. You saved me. I can be that guy again, with you. I can be happy. I can laugh. I can live.”
She tried to blink back the tears blurring her vision, but she failed. His words were way too meaningful. “You deserve to be happy.”
He continued, “I’m on your doorstep, asking you to let me back in so I can fall irrevocably in love with you, because sweetheart? I’m already there. Please. Forgive me. Love me. Let me in.”
Tara tightened her grip on the phone and bit her lower lip. God, she wanted to let him in. Wanted to trust him and give him a chance. But what if she did, and he broke her heart? Or lied to her again? But…what if he didn’t?
She shakily rose to her feet and set the cat down. As if stuck in slow motion, she reached out and undid the lock. When she opened the door, Jake stood there with a phone to his ear, holding a bouquet of roses. He quickly dropped the former in his pocket, and his fist tightened on the flowers.
Positioning herself in the doorway, she kept the cat from escaping, but also blocked him from entry. He swallowed hard and shifted on his feet. “I want to love you, Tara. So fucking bad. And I’m sorry. Sorry I lied. Sorry I—”
She took a small step toward him, followed by another. He broke off and took a stumbling stride forward. When she launched herself into his arms, he caught her easily, hugging her so close she could barely breathe. The flowers hit the patio, and he buried his face in her neck. She held on to him, tears slipping down her cheeks.
This was it. This was the real thing.
She couldn’t let him slip out of her fingers because she was scared.
He took a breath. “Does this mean you forgive me?”