Her father said, “But he—”
“Look. I’m tired. I’m upset.” She blinked back tears. “And all I want to do is close my eyes and shut out the rest of the world. Can we be done for tonight? Please.”
Before she broke down in front of them.
“Isabelle…” Her mother trailed off. “If you want this boy, this Gordon, maybe we could still—?”
“No.” Isabelle stood straight, shaking her head. “He made it quite clear that he doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want this. Everything was an act. All of it. It’s over. He’s done. I just thought…” She swallowed past the throbbing ache in her throat. “I thought I could be happy with him. Really happy. Like you and Dad are. Obviously, I was wrong.”
“Isabelle…” her father said. He used the soft tone he reserved for her and her mother. The one only they ever heard. “Don’t cry. We can fix this.”
She bit down hard on her lower lip.
If she couldn’t marry Gordon, who she’d thought she could be happy with, then she might as well do what everyone else wanted her to do. She might as well offer herself up as a sacrificial lamb for all her country and marry the pompous jerk.
“Call George’s people. Tell them I panicked, but I’ve seen the light. Tell them…” She closed her eyes, Gordon’s image crossing into her vision. Only, it was the laughing, kind version of him. The one she’d fallen for. The one she’d wanted to marry. But that wasn’t the real him. It had all been an act. “If George still wants me, I’ll marry him. If I can’t have happiness, then I’ll give it to the people. Tell him I said yes.”
She pushed off the door and went into the bedroom without another word. After shutting it behind her, she ripped her gown off, stripped down to her slip, and fell on the bed. Curling into a fetal ball, she stared at the spot where Gordon had slept next to her on that one, perfect night. The night before it had all gone horribly wrong.
Before she’d lost him for good.
Had she ever really had him? The whole time they’d been together had become tainted. He’d accepted a bribe to stay quiet. Had taken money from George, then laughed her off when she’d told him she wanted him, instead.
It had all been a ploy for some quick cash.
That wasn’t the man she’d come to know. She didn’t know who he was. Didn’t know him at all. She never really had. Rolling over, she stared at the blank wall for an unknown amount of time, going over the last few days in her head on repeat.
None of it made sense. None of it at all.
It was a good thing she was going home tomorrow. Everything would go back to normal…whatever that meant now. It was time to make the best of an awful situation. She’d always known she would marry for her country, and she’d accepted it as a way of life.
So what if she didn’t love George?
He didn’t love her, either.
It would keep their relationship simple. A business interaction of sorts, really. No heartache. No pain. No disappointment. She would be safe, and so would he. She would smile. Hold his hand. Present a united front in public.
If she cried herself to sleep at night, then so be it. No one else had to know that she’d had a taste of happiness, and that it had all turned out to be fake.
No one had to know what she really wanted, deep down in her soul. Love. Happiness. A partner. No one would ever know how badly she’d wanted…
Gordon.
No one would have to hurt anymore.
Chapter Sixteen
Four days later, Gordon fell back on his couch. Releasing an exhausted sigh, he let out an “oof” when Georgie leaped enthusiastically onto his lap. He’d spent the last few days burying himself in work, trying to keep busy. Trying to erase the sight of her broken heart when he’d told her he didn’t give a damn about her.
Nothing had worked.
At the time, being an asshole had seemed like the right thing to do. He hadn’t wanted her remembering him fondly, and maybe missing him. Didn’t want her hurting.
So…he’d hurt her.
Yeah. It didn’t make much sense now, but he’d likened it to ripping off a Band-Aid. Fast and painless…mostly. Lie to her. Make her think he’d taken money from her fiancé, and then watch her walk away with hatred seething in her eyes. Make her pissed so she wouldn’t care about him. Make her forget all about him.
But it had hurt him more than he’d expected.