Say You're Mine (Shillings Agency 5)

She let the booze guide her actions.

Lifting up on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his. And it felt as amazing as she always thought it would. The second their mouths touched, it was like she finally made the right choice, which was insane. She knew herself, and Steven. And yet…

It felt right.

For a second, his mouth pressed back against hers, and his grip on her tightened. He groaned and took over the kiss, closing his arms around her tightly. This was it. The moment she’d been waiting for. The man she’d been waiting for. Steven Thomas.

A moan escaped her, and he froze, his mouth still glued to hers. With a harsh movement, he jerked back, a scowl marring his face, and his mouth pressed tightly into a line. “What the fuck, Lauren?”

Pressing her hand to her mouth, she stared back at him.

And had no clue what to say.

Chapter Five

Steven had no damn clue what the hell was going on, but she didn’t really mean that kiss. Throughout all the years they’d shared as friends, all the drinks they’d drunk together, and the numerous times they’d shared a bed—she’d never once done that.

She was drunk, upset about something she refused to dig into, and doing things she hadn’t fully thought through. Doing anything to forget whatever it was that upset her in the first place. With any other girl, in any other place, he could be her guy.

Pressing her fingers to her mouth, she shook her head quickly. Those tiny little pajamas she always wore to bed taunted him more than they had before the kiss, and he’d never been so damn aware of how much skin those shorts left bare on her legs before now. “I’m sorry. I thought…I…”

When she didn’t finish, he crossed his arms. “You thought you could use me to forget whatever you’re upset about?”

“N-No. It’s just I’m alone, and you’re alone…and it’s quiet. So quiet. And when you looked at me like you were thinking about—”

A horrible thought occurred to him. One that made him sick with anger and…and…fuck it, he might as well admit it. Jealousy. So much damn jealousy he might as well turn green and start smashing shit with his fist. “Jesus, Lauren. Is this about Brian? Do you miss him so badly you had to use me to fill a void?”

Her jaw dropped. “What? No.”

No matter what had caused this kiss to occur, it hadn’t been her overwhelming desire for him. That was what pissed him off the most about this.

She wasn’t kissing him because she wanted to, or even because she wanted him. She was using him to forget something, and now their first kiss was wasted. There had been times where he pictured kissing her. Where he forgot why he never could, and got lost in the moment. Over the years, he imagined kissing her in tons of ways.

On the beach at sunset. In a fancy restaurant. At his place, after he cooked dinner for her and they shared the dessert she made for them. She’d have icing on her lip, and he’d lean in to wipe it off, smiling. Their eyes would meet, and suddenly…it would just happen. And it would have been everything he never knew he wanted.

But never once had he ever imagined their first kiss being like this.

A drunken ploy to forget another man.

It should have been tender. Loving. Kind. Passionate. “Tell me the truth. Do you miss him? Is it a way to forget what is so very obviously bothering you?”

She dropped her hand to her side, and her lower lip trembled. “No. No. I wasn’t using you to try to forget about him, or anything.”

“Then why?” he asked, trying to keep his tone non-accusatory, but failing miserably. “Why did you kiss me? Why now?”

Cheeks pinking, she advanced on him. “In that moment, it felt like I needed to, and have for a long time, you idiot. Do I need more of a reason than that?”

His heart raced faster than a speeding bullet. “Bullshit.”

“No. It’s. Not.” She shoved him, both hands on his chest, but he didn’t budge. She used about as much force as a mouse fighting off a cat would. “I needed to…to feel…and you always make me feel. You’re always there, and I…I…kissed you. I picked the right guy for once, and I’d do it all over again.”

He swallowed hard. He’d never denied her anything she asked him, but this was entering dangerous territory. This was bad. “You’re drunk. You have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

Shaking her head, she stepped back from him. He felt the distance all the way to his dark fucking soul. “Not drunk enough to forget what I want, or to mistake what I’m feeling here.” She pressed a hand to her stomach. “I want you, Steven. You.”

Shit, he’d love to believe she spoke from the heart, rather than the bottle. But he watched her pound back the booze, and her tolerance was nonexistent. She was drunk off her as

s, and nothing she said could be held accountable right now. Not even if he longed to kiss her again. Now that he had a taste, he couldn’t think of anything else he would like more. “Lauren.”