Say You're Mine (Shillings Agency 5)

rms out. “Me. Anything you want, it’s yours. I’ll promise it to you and find a way to deliver.”

Her heart wrenched. He looked at her with so much honesty and emotion burning behind those hazel eyes of his, there was no doubt he was telling the truth.

If she let him in, he would give her the world. All those things she’d only ever dreamed about would be hers. All she had to do was let him in.

Could she?

“Your turn,” she breathed.

“You said you loved me. Like, really loved me.” He curled his hands into fists at his sides, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Do you still?”

Oh, no way she was answering that. She’d already told him she loved him, and he hadn’t said it back. There was no way she was going to say it again. Not like this. “Dare.”

“Fine.” His fingers uncurled, flexed, and fisted again. “Kiss me.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, her breath coming faster and her pulse racing.

“You heard me. Answer the question…” He stood directly next to her and held his hand out. “Or kiss me. Those are your choices.”

Sliding her hand into his, she tried to stand on her own two feet but wobbled. Just the sensation of his skin on hers was enough to send her reeling backward. She missed him. Loved him. Wanted him. But he had to love her, too. She wasn’t willing to risk it all on a whim, or a let’s-see-how-this-goes. It had to be all or nothing. “Steven…”

“I can handle it. If you don’t love me anymore, just say it. It won’t send me spiraling into a bottomless hole of despair and booze and women. I’m done with that shit. There’s only one woman I want, and she’s right in front of me,” he said, his voice edgy. “What’s it gonna be? A kiss, or the truth? Which one scares you more?”

“And if I choose neither?”

“Then you lose, and I win, and I’m going to kiss you anyway, because, damn it, Lauren, I need to.” He ran his hand up and down her back, under her hair, stopping right above her butt. It was gentle, yet somehow possessive, all at once. “I need your lips on mine. Your arms around my neck. Your legs around my waist. Your heart, and mine—”

She launched herself into his arms, refusing to think about it further. If he kept talking like that, she wasn’t sure how this whole thing would end. So she did the one thing she could think of to shut him up. She completed her dare. She kissed him. And the second their mouths touched, all of the doubt and worry faded away for the millionth time. That’s how it always worked, though. In his arms, with him holding her, she always believed in him. In this. In them.

His hands splayed on her lower back, and he hauled her against his body, his touch possessive and domineering, yet somehow gentle. If she pulled back, if she gave any indication of wanting to end the kiss, he wouldn’t fight her. Wouldn’t try to change her mind. And there was heady power to that, and to her own willingness to see how far she let him go, that made her feel in control instead of him.

And she suspected he did that on purpose.

Groaning, he pressed even closer, his mouth ravaging hers as he gripped her dress tightly, seconds from ripping it off her. She could let him. Forget about all the things that needed to be said. Pretend it didn’t matter, and that they could build a future on this.

But that would be a lie.

And she wasn’t a liar.

Breaking the kiss off, she rested her hands on his chest, gasping for air since he stole all hers with his touch and his kiss. And somehow, she managed to keep her wits about her long enough to sound coherent. Or coherent enough, anyway.

“Dare accomplished. My turn. Do I still scare you?” she asked.

He dropped his forehead on hers, letting out a tortured groan. “Cupcake…yes. I see my future in your eyes, and I see myself, too. But the thing that sucks is if you walk away, if you decide I’m not worth the risk? I’ll lose it all. Everything that matters to me most would be walking away with you, so, yeah, you scare the living shit out of me.”

She gripped his shirt so tightly it hurt. “Steven…”

“And even more, it terrifies me that you mean so much to me. That you leaving me would kill me. It’s a lot of power to give someone, when you hand them your heart. They could crush it. Break it. Tear it in two.” He skimmed his hands up her back, over her shoulders, and lifted her chin to his. His touch was gentle yet strong. Firm. Unwavering. “Or they could take it, and show you what the world could really be like, if only you dared to trust them. And that’s what you’ve done to me.”

Cautious joy burst through her chest, spreading outward. “I—”

“Wait, let me finish. I need to say this. No matter how this ends, you have my heart. You might not have noticed or even cared, but I gave it to you years ago. My brain was just too slow to catch on till now. I love you, Lauren Brixton. I’ve loved you my whole life, and I will continue to love you for the rest of my years.” He dropped down to his knees, holding onto her hands firmly. “This I swear to you, here and now. It is the most important promise I have ever made, or will ever make. I promise to love you till the day I die. Hell, screw that. I won’t stop even then. I promise to love you forever. I’ll never stop. Never waver. Never doubt. I love you, Lauren. So damn much it hurts. I only hope you can love me, someday, the same way you did before I broke your heart. Please say you can. That you will.” He took a deep breath. “Say you’re mine.”

She blinked at him, unable to speak or look away. His speech, as impassioned as it was, came straight from the heart. She knew him, and how he liked to plan things. There was no way that was planned, and that only made it all the more special.

So she needed a minute to fully appreciate it.

But apparently she appreciated it too long.