Dissipate

“I can’t wait.”

The movie started and Clark Griswold was one of the funniest men . . . ever. Laughter filled the living room as we watched dear Mr. Clark get overzealous with the spirit of Christmas. I was definitely looking forward to the Christmas season.

As the credits rolled, Aiden asked, “Did you like it?”

“Loved it! I can’t wait for the next movie on your list.”

Through the entire movie, I hadn’t moved from Aiden’s side. It was hard not trying to sniff him with the scent of his cologne—manly and rugged. There was seriously something wrong with me. Sniff him? Really, Kenzie, you’re losing your mind.

Kissing the top of my head, he asked, “What do you want to do?”

“I want to stay just like this.” I raised my head. “Wait, was that too forward of me?” There really wasn’t girlfriend etiquette on the internet or at least etiquette that I deemed as a viable source.

He shook his head. “If it feels right for us, it’s not too forward. Let’s see what’s on the television.”

As Aiden flipped through the channels, my eyes started to drift close. This was the first night since I’d left The Society that I didn’t feel like crying.

MY BODY WAS getting moved about and I stirred. Aiden’s sleep ridden voice drifted through the air. “Shh . . . I’m carrying you to bed. Don’t worry, I’m going to sleep in Brooklyn’s room.”

“Mmmkay.”

From all the weeks of exhaustion catching up to me, my eyes were heavy. The mattress dipped and Aiden laid me on the bed before covering me with my blankets.

I missed the feel of his comfort, but knew it was too soon to have him lay with me. Lips pressed against mine. “Night, Kenzie.”

“Night.” My words came out garbled.

Another kiss on my lips, then Aiden walked away as I heard his footsteps. Nearing sleep, minutes later, his voice came from the doorway in a hushed tone that sounded like a vow. “I’m going to make you feel special every day like you deserve.”

The door closed before I could respond. Aiden made me feel things stronger than I had ever felt before. Whispering in the night, I said, “I’m going to make sure you know how much you mean to me every day.”

STIFFLY, I STRETCHED as the new day awoke me. The clock read seven in the morning. Normally, I naturally got up at five thirty which was when we were expected to start the day at The Society. Idle hands and lazy bodies were something we were told The Light did not approve of. I scoffed at some of the teachings we had been taught.

There were some lessons the Keeper had taught us like being a good person and honesty that were important in life. To me, those rules had a place. Hopefully, as time progressed, I’d be able to distance myself from the constant falsities that had been ingrained in me.

My thoughts turned to Aiden. I had a boyfriend and he wanted me—plainness and all. Getting out of bed, I changed out of my clothes from last night. It had been a while, before my mom had gotten sick, since I had slept so soundly. Being rested felt good.

Finding a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeve T-shirt Brooklyn had given me from clothes she no longer wore, I headed downstairs. The door to Brooklyn’s room was closed. In the living room, the blanket was on the floor where Aiden must have discarded it before carrying me to bed. I folded it and placed it on the back of the couch. Aiden’s cell phone was on the floor too. Picking it up to put it on the table, two messages flashed across the screen, one on top of the other.

Stacy: Aiden, we need to talk. Please come see me.

Levi: It’s about time you got lucky! Feels good, doesn’t it?

I hadn’t meant to see the texts. Quickly, I put it on the end table. I wasn’t sure which text bothered me more—people thin

king I would give myself that quickly to someone or knowing Stacy was trying to get Aiden.

Stacy put a sour taste in my mouth. Jealousy was an emotion I wasn’t accustomed to, but it was blossoming and taking over my rational thinking. Shame was also prevalent as I realized what it must look like we had done.

“Good morning, beautiful. Why didn’t you wake me?” Aiden’s deep voice scared me and I jumped, yelping. His black hair was disheveled as he tried to finger comb it.

Feeling like I had been doing something wrong, when I knew I hadn’t, I blurted out, “I was picking up your phone off the floor and saw the messages light up. Aiden, I swear I wasn’t looking. The screen lit up and it was there. I’m so sorry.”

I stopped, knowing I was becoming repetitive.

Aiden’s brows furrowed. Coming to the side table to where his phone was, he looked at me. If he went back to Stacy, it was better to know now before things got more serious between us. The other, I wasn’t sure what could be done besides not let him stay over anymore. Why did I care? Having public acceptance from all members of The Society was key. Old habits were hard to break. I had to fight the notion that Abraham, from The Society, would find out and punish me.

I didn’t want to invade his privacy and watch his reaction when he read it. “I’m going to finish cleaning up. Do you want any breakfast?”