Tempting Perfection

Over his shoulder he glanced my way, his eyes piercing mine. The dark rings under his showed his exhaustion. Softer, he asked, “Why can’t you?”

“Why can’t you?” I retorted. No way was I going to make a fool of myself and expose what was going on until he made the first move.

His eyebrow rose in an are-you-serious? look. In the depth of his eyes, I saw a glimmer of something else. It was the carnal lust we’d experienced in LA. Just thinking about it brought tingles of anticipation low in my belly. I waited for him to say something, anything, to acknowledge what we’d shared. He simply stared at me.

What went wrong? What made him pull away? Once we returned from LA, I thought things would be amazing. Even when we landed, things seemed to be okay. It wasn’t until after we’d had dinner with Knoah, Garrick, and their family everything changed. Kurt had severed any sexual ties we had once we crossed into our apartment. I thought we would have an explosive night of sex; instead, I cried myself to sleep.

His words still chipped away at my heart. “We can’t continue this, Sawyer. What we had stays in LA. It’s best not to shit where you eat.”

Asshole.

Clearing his throat, he turned his head and took a deep breath. “It’s band stuff. The road trip across America.”

Inside, my heart deflated a little at his words. I guess my body spray had had zero effect. To distract myself, I straightened the napkins in the holder on the counter. “The concerts will be good. With the larger venues, your ticket sales are up. The tour across America has your fans excited about going back to the basics. I would estimate this will be a record-setting year.”

“Yeah.” As he opened another cabinet, though, it seemed like the furthest thing from his mind. “You ready to be stuck on a tour bus with me for a bit?”

Two days before the first of the year, we were heading to LA to get on a bus. The first gig was scheduled for New Year’s Eve. It was going to be the worst kind torture. Since we were already roomies, Kurt suggested we continue that on the road to make it easier to work. At the time, I’d thought we’d spend our time making passionate love as we rolled down the highway.

Wrong.

I responded, “I’m thinking Rudolph would be a great addition.”

The thought of being in a confined space alone with Kurt terrified me. But I had to get my wits about me and come to grips with the fact that it was over between us. And somehow, I had to move on.

A tired chuckle left him. “Are killer bunnies going to come out at Easter?”

“Maybe…but Valentine’s Day comes first. I’m thinking singing hearts and cupids.”

He tensed. “Worst fucking holiday of the year. All those poor saps pouring their hearts out.”

The way he said it reiterated just how much he was against relationships. I turned away to grab a water from the fridge, closing my eyes as I tried to keep the devastation at bay. It’s over. Truly over.

But before I was stuck on a bus with him, I needed to get away and sort out my thoughts. Get strong again. Figure out how to move past this. Find myself in the wake of all things Kurt Hendrix.

An idea began to form. Tomorrow I would work out the specifics, but tonight I would lay the groundwork. “Hey, I forgot to mention I’m going on a mini trip tomorrow for some R and R before the tour.”

When he didn’t respond, I turned to face him. His brow was cocked as he watched me. “When did this come up?”

I flicked my wrist as if it were no big deal. “I decided to book it the other day.” I met Kurt’s gaze, and his blue eyes searched mine. I kept my eyes steady and locked on his. If I looked away, he’d know something was up. To keep it light, I added, “You going to miss your roomie?”

“Where are you going? Who are you going with?” The possessive tone was clear, and it was hard not to cling to it. But I pushed it away.

“Destin.” As for the rest of the question, I left it unanswered. Before he had a chance to say anything else, I let out a yawn that probably sounded fake. “I’m going to hit the sack. I’ll get all the Christmas stuff picked up before I go. Night, Kurt.”

“Sawyer?”

I turned, my heart stopping. Conflict flashed across his face.

“Yes?”

Please tell me how you really feel. Don’t let me leave for Destin.

There was another long pause before he turned his eyes back to the counter and his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “Night, Sawyer.”

“Night.”

Moving forward had become a necessity.