Tempting Perfection

Sawyer

It was early evening before I pulled up to the small cottage I’d rented on the beach in Destin. The six-hour drive from Orlando with the windows down and the music blaring had done wonders for my mind. As I got out of the car, I paused. For the next few nights, this two-story white home would be my paradise. It was private, on the beach, and had a pool. Heaven.

The pictures on the web hadn’t done justice to the inside of the house. The nautical theme gave it a spa-like feel. The clean lemon smell added to it. The master bedroom faced the ocean. The best part about this place was the fact that there wasn’t a balcony. After the accident, I hated balconies. I shuddered, remembering my niece falling to her death from one. The pain still seared through me as I could still hear the bloodcurdling screams that had come from her when I lost my grip.

I closed my eyes as the memory washed over me.

We’d been in Colorado, exploring the woods around my parents’ newly acquired home during Christmas break of my senior year in high school. Cameron had flown in from college as a surprise. I’d instantly loved it out there. The smell of the evergreens had filled the air. It had felt like we were isolated from the world.

My sister, Adriane, had needed a break from her daughter, Mattie. My eight-year-old niece was a handful at times. She’d been a surprise for my sister, who found herself pregnant when she was seventeen. The father wasn’t part of the picture, probably because of my parents. They had an image to maintain, and an unplanned pregnancy did not fit their projection of the perfect family. I remembered Adriane wasn’t allowed to go outside when she started to show. And after that, Mattie was referred to as a visiting relative, never a granddaughter. Adriane had stayed home so everyone else—meaning Cameron and I—could take care of Mattie. But I’d loved Mattie and knew I would miss her terribly when I started college. We’d been beyond clos

e. That day in Colorado, I’d suggested Cameron and I take Mattie out to burn off some energy.

A mile or so away from the main house, we’d come upon an abandoned cabin and had to explore. Mattie and I had been up in the loft looking around. A door had led to a small private balcony.

“Mattie! Don’t play too close to the edge.”

She’d continued to twirl in her princess dress. “It’s okay. This is my stage.”

With me heading to college in the fall, I’d tried to spend as much time with Mattie as possible. I’d smiled, watching her dark curls bounce around her as she danced.

“Sawyer, you need to see this,” Cameron called from below.

I’d leaned over the rail. “Be down in a sec. Let me grab Mattie.”

It had all happened in slow motion. The sound of cracking wood had hit me right before the balcony collapsed. Mattie’s screams had filled the air as I’d run to the balcony door. Her body had disappeared.

“Mattie! Mattie!”

I’d crouched down and seen Mattie hanging on to a broken piece of wood. Eyes wide, she’d stared up at me. “Sawyer, I can’t hold on.”

On instinct, I’d lain flat and stretched over the side. Jagged pieces of wood cut into my skin. “Grab my hand, Mattie!”

Cameron had yelled from down below, but I had to focus. Mattie’s little hands had kept reaching for mine, and finally I’d grabbed her. But the angle had made it hard to hoist her up. “Cameron, I need your help!”

“Save me, Sawyer! Save me!”

Her fingers had begun to slip from mine. Earlier she’d lathered them with lotion. With all my might, I’d gripped harder as her fingers had become more slippery.

“Sawyer! Sawyer!” In her fear, Mattie had begun to thrash her little legs.

“Be still, Mattie. Cameron is coming.” I’d squeezed tighter.

“Sawyer!”

“Hold still, sweetheart.”

Mattie had slipped even further, and panic ensued. I’d yelled, “Cameron! Hurry!”

We’d cringed from the sound of a crash from the other room, and I’d tightened my hold. I’d had only the tips of Mattie’s fingers. Tears had streamed down her face, and my heart broke. I couldn’t lose this little girl. I’d begged, “Hold on, Mattie. Please stop moving.”

In the blink of an eye, she’d completely slipped out of my grasp and fallen.

Her screams had echoed throughout the cabin.

I took a calming breath as I pulled myself out of the memory. The picture of Mattie lying crumpled on the ground with a broken beam of wood piercing her small body still haunted me. If only I’d been stronger, Adriane might not have blamed me for everything and committed suicide. Tears pricked my eyes. After Mattie, I became an outcast to everyone in my family except Cameron. At least I had him.

My phone vibrated. It was Kurt. For once, I welcomed him as a distraction.