Tempting Perfection

“Do you have any medical concerns you’d like to discuss?”

“None that I can think of right now. This is just my routine shot. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened since my last one—none that I can think of. Dr. Russell in Orlando said he sent the requested files over.”

“Yes, he did.” Nodding, she placed the clipboard in her lap and focused on me. “How have your periods been?”

“Same as always. I’ve been on the Depo shot now for four years. After the first year, my periods became almost nonexistent. Totally positive effect of the shot, in my opinion.”

Why was it taking so long to get my shot? I wanted to make it home and surprise Kurt with some new lingerie that had just arrived.

“Well, Ms. Wade, I assume that since you’re here for your birth control shot, it would be a surprise to learn you’re pregnant.”

The room spun.

Time stood still.

Pregnant.

I had to have heard her wrong.

The blood drained from my head, and I leaned back, woozy. “Wh-what? I just had sex like three nights ago for the first time in ages. We used condoms. I haven’t missed a shot. H-how? I mean, I know how. I just…”

The doctor looked at the sheet of paper on her clipboard. “From your hormone levels, I believe you’re quite a bit more than a few days pregnant. We wouldn’t be able to pick it up that early via a urine test.”

This had to be a mistake. “B-but…I hadn’t had sex since November. Like two months ago.” I put my hand to my head. “This cannot be happening.”

Kids were not in the plan. Kurt was barely able to admit to being in a committed relationship. And now a baby. Not to mention that I was an emotional mess at times.

“Let’s do an ultrasound and see how far along you are. Do you need to call anyone?”

Oh hell. Call Kurt? Right now? “N-no.”

“Okay. Let’s get you set up.”

On numb legs, I walked to the ultrasound room. I followed the nurse’s directions, completely disconnected from what was happening. The cold glob on my stomach was the only precursor to the screen coming to life.

“That’s the baby’s heartbeat. Aw, I love when you’re able to start seeing them.”

It was like a song. Beautiful. But still, I was shocked. Not able to process much. “How far along am I?”

The baby was a blob. Were they supposed to be blobs?

The technician clicked the screen a lot before she said, “Looks like around eight weeks. Conception probably took place the last week of November. I’d estimate your due date to be around August twenty-first.”

“Fuck me,” I murmured.

“Excuse me?”

“Fantastic for me!” Such fake enthusiasm.

The screen shifted again. “Let me take some more measurements, and then we can look at the baby. I’ll explain what you’re looking at and give you some pictures.”

“Thank you.”

What else am I supposed to say? What should I be asking? The screen had measurements all over it, and that’s when I started to panic. I wasn’t sure how long this went on before the doctor came in. I sat up and pushed the wand aside, not able to look at it anymore. There’s a baby inside me. My breaths came faster, and my vision began to blur. “Is everything okay, Ms. Wade?”

No response from me.

“I want you to slow down your breathing. Look at me and breathe with me so you don’t pass out.”