“Erik’s dick,” Lexi said through a mouthful of pancakes.
“Ooh, let me get my magnifying glass, and I can join in.” Marley pushed on my shoulder, and I scooted over so she could slide in beside me.
“Enough.” My deep voice was firm. “I’m not having this discussion again with the both of you.”
“Touchy. What’s wrong little brother?” Marley picked up the menu as Lexi laughed along with her. “Did the girl from the coffee shop not work out?”
The problem with both of my sisters was they meddled. And their favorite life to intrude on? Mine.
Lexi pointed her fork at me. “All I’m saying is, you would be a lot happier if you got your dick wet.”
“Tell me again how Jared puts up with you?” I asked.
“Oh, I suck a mean cock. I grab it real hard with both hands,” Lexi dropped her fork and wrapped her hands around an imaginary dick as she cocked a grin to Marley, “then, I swivel my head around and go to town.” She laughed as she picked up her fork and knife and sliced into her pancakes.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked while they both laughed.
“Nothing,” she said as a dribble of syrup oozed out of her mouth.
“Calm down, Erik. We’re both only trying to help,” Marley said as the waitress approached and took her order.
“Yeah, what she said.” Lexi pointed her fork toward Marley and then continued to devour her stack of pancakes.
“And what makes you both think I even need your help?”
Lexi’s fork and knife fell from her fingers, clattering on her plate. Her head sprang up, mouth open with the remnants of chewed up pancakes. She grabbed her napkin and wiped her mouth as she finished off the food in her mouth. “Ok, shit just got real. You need us Erik. Have you forgotten what next month is?” Lexi asked.
Marley giggled beside me as my face turned red. “I told you not to mention next month. I’m going to be doing some rock climbing in an undisclosed location.”
“Oh please, no you aren’t. You’re going. Just like all of us are going. To show that bitch what she’s missing out on,” Marley said as her coffee was placed in front of her. The waitresses’ eyes grew wide, but Marley waved her off with an apology.
“Why would she even invite me anyways?” I asked, totally deflated once again.
“Because, she’s a life-sucking whore, and she wants to make everyone else just as miserable as her,” Lexi chimed in.
“On her wedding day?” I popped a slice of bacon into my mouth as both Marley and Lexi laughed.
“Of course on her wedding day. Bitches want everyone miserable on their wedding day,” Lexi said.
I shook my head; the mysteries of women being revealed a bit more by my sisters warped minds. “I don’t think most girls think like that.”
“Ok, not most, but Steffie Jamison sure the fuck thinks like that.”
Steffie, Stefany Jamison, my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for five years and now the fiancée to another man she met while on an African safari a few months back. The point was, we had broken up last year, and I was over her. But, when her wedding invitation came in the mail, I was once again devastated.
Not because I wanted her back, but because she was happy without me.
“You need a smokin’ hot date,” Marley said when her pancakes arrived.
I passed the syrup over as she nudged me with her knee.
“Erik, you need not only a smokin’ hot girlfriend but you need to move on. I like to see those blue eyes happy. Let me see the baby blues.” Lexi snapped her fingers in front of my face as I closed my eyes.
Both my sisters teased me about my hypnotic blue eyes or so they called them. I tried not to smile as their teasing continued.
“Seriously, all I’m saying is you need to find someone, and that’s why I called this meeting,” Lexi said. My eyes sprang open.
My assessment was right, this was sabotage.