Man of the Mountain

“Look at you, planning it all out.”

He runs a hand over his beard, eyes on the road. “It’s what you want though, isn’t it?”

I nod tightly. “Yes. It’s all I want, Kutter.”

He squeezes my hand again. “Okay then, have faith in us.”

When we pull into the social services office where I work, I tell myself to be brave, to speak up. To share how I feel. All the things I’ve always struggled with.

But Hope is worth fighting for.

I won’t let her down.

Kutter has on a clean flannel shirt, dark denim jeans, brown leather boots. He looks so handsome, so capable, and when he lifts Hope’s baby carrier from the back of the car, he looks like the sexiest mountain daddy in the whole wide world.

“What?” he asks, the diaper bag over his shoulder.

I press my lips together, my whole body so damn hot for him. “Nothing. I was just thinking… you look like a natural.”

“Who would have thought, huh?” He gives me a pat on the butt and I laugh, opening the door for him.

Inside, Lorraine meets us and lets us know Holly Grant is here, claiming to be the birth mother. She has a birth certificate, photos of her and the baby — she is who she says she is. Apparently, Lorraine told her that Kutter fought off a pair of wild cougars to save her baby. Her baby named Angel.

Kutter and I look at one another. Angel, not Hope. Well, Angel is fitting too.

“I need to speak with her,” Kutter says. “Now.”

Loraine frowns. “Well that isn’t exactly appropriate. She wants to see her daughter.”

But before Lorraine can say any more, a woman pushes her way into the room. “Are you the one who found her?” she asks, walking to Kutter.

He nods. “I did. Why did you leave her? Why did you come back?” he asks, pushing straight past any and all protocol a social worker would be forced to adhere too.

Lorraine tries to interject. “This is highly unorthodox—”

But Holly Grant shakes her off. “I came back because I realized I didn’t leave any of the paperwork that would make sure she had what she needed. I’m a mess. A wreck and I don’t want to be a mom. I can’t be her mom. I’m leaving for Europe tonight. I got a job as a roadie for a band.” She kneels down to the floor, looking at her daughter. “Look, I just want to be sure she is taken care of. I brought in the stuff from the hospital where she was born. And some photos. After I dropped her off at the ranger station, I freaked out, realizing that I fucked up. But I was in the woods, at this party, you know, and it got really crazy and I didn’t think she should be there…”

“It’s okay,” Kutter says. “I was there. I got her. And listen, Holly. I love this little girl. I saved her form wild animals. I fought for her. And I will keep fighting for her. Katie and I both.”

“Katie?” Holly’s eyes lift to meet mine. “You mean it? You want her?”

Lorraine jumps in. “This is uncalled for. There is a process—”

“Actually, Lorraine,” I say, standing my ground, “we’re skipping the process. This is between us now — Holly, Kutter and me. Not the Department of Social Services.”

“I’m relinquishing my rights,” Holly says. “It’s why I came in. I realized skipping town might make things harder for her. And she’s a baby. She didn’t ask to have me as a mother. She deserves better than someone who wants out.”

“That’s what you truly want? To hand over custody?” I ask.

Holly shakes her head. “What I really want is to know she has a family who wants her.” She runs a hand through her stringy, bleached hair. Her mascara is caked in her lashes, she looks like she hasn’t slept for days. But she is doing her best — she is here. Trying.

“We want her,” Kutter says. “We want to raise her.”

“You mean that?” Holly asks. “Like… you don’t even know…”

“We mean it,” I say, never having been more sure of anything in my life.

“Then what do we do next?” Holly asks.

“Find a lawyer,” Kutter says, taking control. “Now.”

Holly nods. “Okay. Let’s do it. I gotta catch a plane later. I got this crazy offer and I’ve gotta run.”

Lorraine shakes her head. “Katie, you can’t be serious. This is so out of line.”

I press my lips together. “No. It’s not out of line. It’s absolutely the right thing. For the baby, for Holly, for Kutter and me. And I quit, Lorraine.”

“You’re giving up your job?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m getting the life I’ve always wanted.”

Then I take Kutter’s hand in mine as he lifts the baby carrier, nodding to Holly, the woman who just walked into my life and changed my whole world. “Come on, we have work to do.”