Twisting her body, so she was on her side facing me, she stared at me through the dim light coming through the windows. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” I couldn’t lie to her, and with how important this was, I wouldn’t have anyway. “Can you do that for me?”
“Of course I can,” she murmured, running her thumb over my eyebrow. “You’re the other half of my soul. I’d do anything to keep you and our boys safe.”
I held her closer than I’ve ever held her that night.
I’d never let her know how close we were to death, but I hoped she knew from everything I’d said and done, that I’d do anything to keep her and the boys breathing.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Nell
“So, show me what you’ve learned so far,” Taras asked as he walked around the mat I was standing on, in the area of the gym I did my Krav Maga lessons in.
“That’s hardly fair,” I mumbled, crossing my arms in front of me. “You’re putting me on the spot.”
“Someone attacking you is hardly going to give you time to prepare to defend yourself, malysh. That’s the whole point.”
Damn it, he was making sense.
Cracking my neck, I shook out my shoulders, waiting for him to relax. The moment his defenses lowered, I attacked him, using all the moves I could think of to get him onto the ground, and in a position where I had the upper hand.
It took a while, and by the time I’d managed it I was panting and sweating, but I had victory.
Smiling widely down at him, I raised an eyebrow. “What do you think?”
Crossing his arms under his head, he smiled back. “I’m impressed. There are things you could do differently, but I think you’ll be able to protect yourself and the boys.” Then, looking around, he asked, “Where’s your gun?”
“In my hoodie right there,” I pointed at the pink ball of fabric. “I put it there so I can still reach it.”
In a move I couldn’t have foreseen him doing, he lunged and grabbed my hand, pulling me down on top of him.
“Thank you for paying attention and doing what I’ve asked you to do, baby,” he whispered, running his nose along the side of mine. “All I need is for you and the boys to be safe, and the rest is doable.”
Cupping the side of his head, I asked, “Do you think it’s necessary?”
“I know it is.”
Seeing the strain from the stress in the lines of his face, I nodded, knowing I could give him this if it eased his burden. “Okay, I’ll make sure I’m ready all the time. I slept with the gun under my pillow last night because Lena said it’s the easiest way to get to it if someone breaks in while we’re sleeping. Apparently, that’s the definition of what gives southerner’s sweet dreams.”
Chuckling, he pulled me down for a kiss.
“So long as you keep the safety on, sleep with it there. We could also put a holster on the side of the bed, though, so don’t rule that out.”
Twisting my lips to the side, I pretended to think about it. “Mmm, nah, I prefer the Lena philosophy. If it stops me sleeping because it’s lumpy, I’ll consider the holster.”
Running his hand down my back until he was cupping my butt cheek, he pointed out something I’d been worrying about. “As soon as the boys start moving, we’ll have to find a secure place to put it that’s quick to get to. I’ll ask around and see what I can find, but I don’t want to risk them at all.”
He was always looking after us, always thinking about us. Had I even told him how often I thought about him?
Shit, I don’t think I had.
“When I was pregnant, I dreamed and wished for you. I wanted to pretend nothing had happened, and that we were a happy couple who were in love, and who couldn’t wait to hold their babies.”
“Moy serdste,” he growled as he raised his head to kiss me, but I stopped him with a finger over his lips.
“The reality that we have—psycho killers and guns aside—far exceeds my dreams.” When his face softened, I almost kicked myself for not saying it sooner.
“Thank you for being the best father to them, and for showing how important they are, every hour of every day.”
“Nell—”
“And thank you for showing me how important I am. I was so sure you didn’t care about me at all, but the reality is that you’ve loved me enough to keep me and my family alive for longer than I realized.”
“I’ll always do that.”
“I know,” I whispered. “And I’ll always do everything I can to let you know I feel the same way. Without you, I’m not sure my heart would beat.”
“It would because you have our sons to live for,” he rasped, holding my face in both of his large hands.