I’m torn, but I made my decision, and I should stick with it. But then why can’t I stop this horrible ache in my stomach?
I clear my throat and ignore the pang. “You will learn to love me again.”
“You can wait until we’re both beneath the ground,” she hisses, and she pulls her feet up to her, clutching her legs as though it gives her comfort. But it’s not the same kind of comfort I could give her.
My hand reaches for her hair, and I slide it aside, only to be swatted away.
“Fine,” I say, and I get up, my nostrils flaring wide. “Then stay here for all I care.”
“Fine,” she retorts, and I march off.
But as I open the door, that same pain in my stomach punches me in the gut once more, and I find it hard to breathe, let alone leave.
I can’t go like this. Not without saying something. Anything.
“I … I’m sorry,” I mutter under my breath.
I don’t think I’ve ever said those words before.
And I have no idea if they could ever encompass, let alone fix, all the things I’ve broken inside her. But it’s a start.
Suddenly, she gets up from the bed and slams the door shut. I turn, and her finger is right up against my chest. “No!”
“No?” I raise a brow in confusion.
“No. You can’t just say you’re sorry. No. I won’t accept it.” She’s never looked this upset.
“Then don’t,” I say, standing my ground. “But I still meant it.”
She makes a face, her eyes glowing as though fire erupted inside them. She’s grown so much fiercer ever since she found out about her own sin. As if she’s finally realized she has more power than she thinks. And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on.
“Sorry doesn’t give me my freedom back,” she says, shoving her finger into my chest. “All it does is make you a sinner.”
“I know,” I say, and I cover her hand with mine. “But being a sinner was always my fate.”
She frowns and looks into my eyes, almost as if she’s searching for something. “So you’re going to keep me here forever?”
“If that’s what it takes,” I say, taking in a deep breath.
“I am not going to be your wife,” she says, ripping her hand out of my grasp. “End of story. This piece of ass is off the market.” She points at her behind as though it’s something I haven’t already savored. But I do agree that I’d be very upset if I couldn’t have another bite.
“Now leave,” she barks, folding her arms. “Unless you’re telling me you’re going to take that freedom from me too.”
I reach for her, and she flinches the minute I touch her chin. It’s not a flinch from fear, but a flinch of a woman desperate to tell herself she doesn’t want me the same way I want her. But this attraction between us is undeniable, no matter how many times she tries to deny both herself and me.
“No … I could never.” I caress her cheeks briefly. “But I cannot bear the thought of being without you either.”
“Then I’m going to stay here and rot away,” she says through gritted teeth.
Before I can reply, she marches off to the windows, wistfully staring outside as though she misses it already.
Maybe I really am the monster she thinks I am. I’ve taken away her freedom … but at what price?
There is nothing more to be uncovered and no more sins to be punished for. What then do I have left to bargain with? Nothing.
And she must know this.
So I sigh and open the door, determined not to come back until I have something, anything to convince her to stay by my side.
Because I don’t just need her to be my wife or to make an heir.
“I need you … to live,” I say, and then I close the door behind me.
Chapter 14
Amelia
When he said he was sorry, I almost believed him. Almost.
He’d never said those words before … and they made me hungry, so hungry for more.
But then I remembered that it is all I have left to bargain with. Not my body; he’s already had that. No, all that’s left is forgiveness … which I refuse to grant him.
I’ll die on this hill if I have to. I have nothing else, so why bother?
But what did he mean by “I need you to live”? I am very much alive, so I don’t understand why he’d say such a thing. Unless he means that I’m in danger. Maybe that’s why he dragged me back here.
Or maybe … he means something else entirely, and I don’t understand shit.
I sigh to myself as I stare out the window at the beautiful trees in the distance, those same trees I once ran through just to escape his grasp. And look at me now, back where I started, right back in his clutches. And I didn’t even put up a fight. I just let him drag me back to his car like it was supposed to happen.