When he said he clipped the angel’s wings, it undid something inside me, unfurling some of the coils that had twisted around my heart even after all these horrendous things he’s done.
A part of me wanted to forgive.
Even if I know damn well he doesn’t deserve it.
And I know I would never say the words out loud.
Deep down, I still wanted to be given the opportunity. Because he gave it to me too.
I sigh to myself as I look away and groan to myself when I smell the scents coming off this bed. His bed, which still smells just as intoxicating as he did. I slap my hands in front of my face so I don’t have to look at or smell any of it anymore. Everything around me reminds me of him.
I hate this. I hate how much I hate him. Because I didn’t want to hate him, but he made me anyway. But what I hate most of all is how he made me feel so many things … He made me feel wanted. He made me feel like I was needed. Like I meant something to him.
And that destroys me.
Fifteen minutes later, someone knocks on the door, and I’m pulled from my thoughts. A woman sticks her head inside. “Hi there, you’re Amelia, right?”
I nod. “Who … who are you?”
“Audrey. I’m Eli’s doctor,” she says as she gets inside, clutching a small bag.
“Oh.” I didn’t expect Eli, out of all the people, to have a female doctor. Then again, I know the women here would probably need one often. Maybe that’s why.
“You probably expected a man, right?” she muses as she grabs a chair.
“Sorry.” My face turns red.
She laughs. “No worries. Happens all the time. I consider it a compliment.”
“I’m amazed Eli would hire a woman,” I say. “You know what he does, right?”
She nods as she puts the chair down beside the bed. “I know he makes people confess their sins if that’s what you mean.”
“And you’re okay with it?” I ask as she grabs my arm.
“Yes.” She puts a band around it to measure my blood pressure. “And I know the people he does it to deserve it.”
I make a face. “So you think I deserve to be here?”
“I don’t know what you did,” she says as she listens to my heart. “But I know that his heart is in the right place.”
A tsk escapes my mouth. “Eli? He has no heart. Never did.”
“If that was true, then why would he help all these people atone?” she murmurs as she checks my pulse.
“For the money,” I quip.
She raises a brow. “Did he get paid for you?”
I swallow. Hard. Apparently, she knows more than she lets on.
She is right, though. He didn’t get a dime, not from me or from anyone in my life. Maybe he did it because he wanted me. After all, he was selfish and needed me to be his.
And I don’t know why but my entire body erupts into goose bumps when that thought passes through my mind.
“Anyway … your lungs sound good, but your blood pressure is a bit low. You should take it slow in the coming days. See if you perk up a bit.”
“So … nothing’s wrong?” I mutter as she puts her stuff back into her little bag.
“Not that I can see,” she says, shrugging. “But take it easy because it could be an infection, that sort of thing. Hopefully, it will clear up in a few days.”
“Oh, right,” I mutter as she gets up and marches back to the door. “So that’s it?”
“That’s it.” She smiles. “But if you need me, have Eli call me, and I’ll be right up. I live on this island too, so it’s easy to get here.”
Aha. Interesting. So I guess she works only for him then. No wonder his work sounded so easy to her. She’s used to it. Maybe she’s worked with him for years.
“Just get some sleep and rest up, okay?” she says as she opens the door. “Stay healthy!”
“Thanks. Bye,” I say as I stare off at the window, wondering what else I don’t know about this place. The longer I’m here, the more I begin to realize just how deep the roots run.
This House has been running on its own for years without my or anyone else’s knowledge. Just the elite know about its existence, and it’s that fact that keeps it from falling. It’s a well-oiled machine passed down from the old to the young for God only knows how long, and I am just a tiny little writing on a single paper in that giant book from his study.
Maybe that’s why he was so afraid that I would run. If any word of this got out in the real world, they’d be caught, and all hell would come raining down. Eli would obviously want to avoid that at all cost, so no wonder he would take so many safety measures to keep us all contained.