House of Many Ways (Howl's Moving Castle 3)

“And look where that got him!” Peter said. “They took away his taps and left all his dishes dirty. So now we’ve got to wash them all without even any hot water in the bathroom.”

Charmain flounced down into the chair and began, again, to open the King’s letter. “Why have we got to?” she said. “I haven’t the remotest idea how to wash dishes anyway.”

Peter was scandalized. “You haven’t? Why ever not?”

Charmain got the envelope open and pulled out a beautiful, large, stiff, folded paper. “My mother brought me up to be respectable,” she said. “She never let me near the scullery, or the kitchen either.”

“I don’t believe this!” Peter said. “Why is it respectable not to know how to do things? Is it respectable to light a fire with a bar of soap?”

“That,” Charmain said haughtily, “was an accident. Please be quiet and let me read my letter.” She pulled her glasses up on to her nose and unfolded the stiff paper.

“Dear Mistress Baker,” she read.

“Well, I’m going to get on and try,” Peter said. “I’m blowed if I’m going to be bullied by a crowd of little blue people. And I should think you had enough pride to help me do it.”

“Shut up,” said Charmain and concentrated on her letter.

Dear Mistress Baker,

How kind of you to offer Us your services. In the normal way, We would find the assistance of Our Daughter, the Princess Hilda, sufficient for Our need; but it so happens that the Princess is about to receive Important Visitors and is obliged to forgo her Work in the Library for the duration of the Visit. We therefore gratefully accept your Kind Offer, on a temporary basis. If you would be so Good as to present yourself at the Royal Mansion this coming Wednesday Morning, at around ten-thirty, We shall be happy to receive you in Our Library and instruct you in Our Work.

Your Obliged and Grateful

Adolphus Rex Norlandi Alti

Charmain’s heart banged and bumped as she read the letter, and it was not until she reached the end of it that she realized that the amazing, unlikely, unbelievable thing had happened: the King had agreed to let her help him in the Royal Library! Tears came into her eyes, she was not sure why, and she had to whisk her glasses off. Her heart hammered with joy. Then with alarm. Was today Wednesday? Had she missed her chance?

She had been hearing, without attending, Peter crashing saucepans about and kicking dog dishes aside as he went to the inner door. Now she heard him come back again.

“What day is it today?” she asked him.

Peter set the large saucepan he was carrying down, hissing, on the fire. ?

??I’ll tell you if you tell me where he keeps his soap,” he said.

“Bother you!” said Charmain. “It’s in the pantry in a bag labeled something like Caninitis. Now, what day is it?”

“Cloths,” said Peter. “Tell me where cloths are first. Did you know there are two new bags of laundry in this pantry now?”

“I don’t know where cloths are,” Charmain said. “What day is it?”

“Cloths first,” said Peter. “He doesn’t answer me when I ask.”

“He didn’t know you were coming,” Charmain said. “Is it Wednesday yet?”

“I can’t think why he didn’t know,” Peter said. “He got my letter. Ask for cloths.”

Charmain sighed. “Great-Uncle William,” she said, “this stupid boy wants to know where cloths are, please.”

The kindly voice replied, “Do you know, my dear, I nearly forgot cloths. They’re in the table drawer.”

“It’s Tuesday,” Peter said, pouncing on the drawer and dragging it open almost into Charmain’s stomach. He said as he fetched out wads of toweling and dishcloths, “I know it must be Tuesday, because I set off from home on Saturday and it took me three days to walk here. Satisfied?”

“Thank you,” Charmain said. “Very kind of you. Then I’m afraid I’ll have to go into town tomorrow. I may be gone all day.”

“Then isn’t it lucky that I’m here to look after the place for you?” Peter said. “Where are you skiving off to?”

“The King,” Charmain said, with great dignity, “has asked me to go and help him. Read this, if you don’t believe me.”