I needed to stop responding to him. Whether it was lust or anger or fear, I needed to shut down. I needed to bore him.
If I didn’t, we’d both let loose.
And then…it would be war.
Kai
Present
Slamming the locker door closed, I stuffed my clothes into my duffel bag and zipped it shut. It was late, the gym was empty, and I walked out of the locker room not feeling as exhausted as I’d hoped.
After another workout and another shower, I was still far too awake at ten-thirty at night.
Leaving the locker room, I walked down the hall to the office, grabbed my phone off the desk, and locked the door. Everyone was gone by now, the rest of the place quiet and dark.
My phone rang.
Looking down, I saw my mother’s number.
My shoulders fell a little, but I knew she’d be calling. I cancelled on showing up for dinner tonight.
I loved my parents, but I really envied Michael’s parents’ no-hands approach sometimes.
I brought the phone to my ear. “You’re up late.”
“I’m trying to not sleep,” she chirped. “It seems to work well for my son.”
I laughed to myself, walking around the lobby and making sure the computers were shut down.
“Are you calling to bust my chops?” I asked her.
“Maybe.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” I walked toward the front door. “I should’ve been there tonight.”
I made it home on Sundays for breakfast and to train with my father, so it wasn’t like I never saw them. I just found it hard to force myself to be there any more than that when I could still feel his disappointment from across the table.
“Is Dad angry?”
“No,” she replied. “He’s just…”
I nodded. “Disappointed. I know.”
My mother was silent, because even she knew it was true. We’d gone round and round, and while my father rarely yelled at me, his silence was harder to take.
“I marinated a couple extra steaks,” she sing-songed. “They’re waiting for you if you want to come home tomorrow.”
“Maybe.”
Which meant I would see her Sunday, as usual.
“You’re doing well,” she told me. “And he sees it. He loves you, Kai.”
“Yeah, I know.” In theory.
If I died, he’d mourn me. I knew that. I doubted anything else would bring us out of this stalemate we’d found ourselves in since I got arrested all those years ago, though.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” I punched the code into the keypad and opened the front door, walking through and locking it.