Wicked and True (Wicked & Devoted 4)

“Baby, we need to talk.”

She draped the fresh quilt around her body, folded the towel, then stepped out of the bathroom, brushing past Zy and out of the too-narrow hallway, before she turned to him. “I don’t want to argue again. Not that I can keep up with you…”

“I’m sorry.”

For what, exactly? Setting a trap? Fucking her despite suspecting her of the worst? Tearing out her heart? She’d given him just cause to do all of that.

She turned her back on him. “No, I’m sorry for giving you a reason to hate me. How long before Trees returns?”

Because without clothes, when she stood this close to Zy, she felt entirely naked.

“Tessa, I can’t hate you, baby. I know you’re worried as hell and scared. I know you feel alone in this, but—”

“I am alone.” She faced him. “That bastard took my baby, the only person who loves me unconditionally.”

“Tessa, I love—”

“Stop. Just…don’t.” Why was he trying to make her feel better with lies? “You know, Cash is a lot of things. He’s flaky and insincere. He’s unreliable and selfish. He’s lazy, he’s dismissive, and he’s got a regrettable amount of charm, which I fell for in a stupid, weak moment. But I was never under any illusions about who he really was. But you had me dazzled from the beginning. So helpful, caring, polite, and kind. Protective and concerned. You even weren’t too macho to wear your heart on your sleeve. You’ve got a face made for seduction and a cock made for sin. The perfect man.” She sighed, fighting more useless tears. “But you didn’t even try to forgive me. You ended us without hesitation. Without even asking me why.”

“Tessa, I…” Zy frowned like he wasn’t sure how to respond. No, like he didn’t know what to say to soothe her hurt. “It was my job to find out who was betraying EM. I assumed you were selling information for money. I was angry.”

“And I hate that I let that bastard maneuver me into such a terrible position. I died a little inside every time I had to double-cross you. But what else could I do?”

“I didn’t know what you had going on. You didn’t trust me with your problem. Baby, I could have—”

“What? Mounted a rescue the enemy might have learned about before it went down? Then what? I’d be burying my baby. Zy, I’d never recover from that, and she deserves a life. Maybe someday you’ll understand and forgive me for not handling things the way you would have. Maybe not.” She shrugged. “But every time we spoke after Hallie was gone, I tried so hard not to hurt your feelings. And what did you do tonight the first chance you got?”

“Everything I could to hurt you.” He dropped his head with a long sigh of regret, then slowly lifted his stare. “I fucked up. And I don’t have anything to offer you except my apology, my help, and my love.”

He didn’t mean half of that, and she didn’t want to latch on to false hope. “Right now, I only need your help.”

He swallowed like her words were a bitter pill. “You have that, no questions asked. We’ll talk about the rest once Hallie is safe.”

That was for the best. They had less than twenty-four hours to solve a mystery no one had cracked in months. Somehow, they had to figure this out now. The yawning chasm of pain between them would have to wait.

“If the mole isn’t Trees or me, who else can we look at?”

“Inside EM? No one. Why don’t you sit at the table, baby? I don’t know if Trees has any tea, but I can make you coffee and breakfast.”

Tessa didn’t think she could eat much now, and his offer felt too much like pity. “No, thanks.”

“You’ve barely slept and you’re burning your candle. I know from experience that if you don’t fuel up, you’ll crash.”

She couldn’t worry about herself now. She had a baby out there, in the clutches of strangers, who might as well have put a ticking time bomb in her innocent hands. But for some reason, he also had that stubborn, not-moving-an-inch look on his face. “Fine. Coffee and something small that takes less than two minutes to make.”

He nodded as he settled a palm on the small of her back to usher her to the table. She drank in his touch. Ridiculous because it was merely a polite gesture, but she still savored it since this might be one of the last times he ever touched her.

“Cream? Sugar?” Zy asked.

“Lots of both. There’s a reason I don’t drink coffee.”

Less than two minutes later, he brought her a steaming mug full of liquid that looked more creamy beige than black, along with a nutty, chewy protein bar that didn’t change her less-than-favorable opinion of prepackaged cardboard meals. But the coffee warmed her insides, and the bar perked her up.