323 Tender Way

He groaned and gently pushed me off of him. His nose was pained and his brow furrowed with concern. I pouted playfully and tugged my giant Grandma sweater back over my head.

“I want that to happen more than anything else I can think of, Madison, so listen to me. There are some things you should know about me before we take that big of a leap. I’m not ready to tell you quite yet and that’s my own problem, but I gotta figure it out on my own. I can’t let you make that kind of commitment to me before I show you everything.”

I nodded gravely. Were we back to serial killers? Did the man I felt so much for harbor terrible secrets that would make me run away from him?

“Right now, I just want to ask you if you’ll see me again. I’m not ready to talk, but I want you, Madison. And I want you to want all of me, too.”

“Okay,” I said lightly, shrugging my shoulders. If there was one thing I was good at, it was rolling with the punches life could bring, moving on and not dwelling. I’d been through so many storms, I was a goddamned master seaman at this point. “It’s cool. Let’s make another date and go slow.”

Duke stood and straightened his pants over his hard cock.

“You make a mean Shepard’s pie. And your kiss is kryptonite to my superhero complex.”

“Wow, sounds like a Dr. Phil episode.”

“Slow, steady,” he said as he walked to the door. “Madison?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t go on dates with anyone else.”

I brushed my hair out of my face and peered at him as he opened the door.

“Are you crazy? I got the diamond. Why would I even look at the fake stuff?”

He kissed two of his fingers and raised them to me.

“Free coffee for life!” he shouted.

“Day two, out of the rest of your life!” I kissed two fingers back and raised them in his direction.

I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off my face even in sleep.

Chapter 6

Duke

My past haunted me for ten long years. I'd been living my life scared to move forward because I was so petrified of going backward, getting lost in complete fucking darkness again. I concentrated so hard on not fucking up, that I was living my life in stagnation, hardly ever really feeling the moment. The minute I met Madison, all of that changed. I was in the fucking moment. I couldn’t escape it. My life was banging down the door and I had to put my fears behind me and just fucking go for it. She was worth it.

Thing is. Nobody, and I mean nobody sane, healthy, or sober, wanted an addict as a partner. Lover? Maybe. But girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse? Fucking forget it. Nobody wants to love someone who’s had a past of putting needles first before family and friends. Burned bridges, acquired a criminal record, blown all their savings, and ruined their reputation. And believe me, every serious addict’s done that and worse.

I parked the car and walked up to her apartment, my nerves taking over me. My hands shook in anticipation. I wasn't sure how she would take the truth when I told her, but if I wanted anything real, she had to know. Even if I never told anyone else ever again, I had to tell Madison.

Just as I was about to knock on her door, she opened it. She looked so cute, wearing a giant sweater and dark jeans, beanie on her head and those old checkered Vans that made her look like a kid. My eyes roamed her whole adorable figure, landing on her pink lips and cheeks and getting lost in her warm dark eyes.

"You look beautiful," I said as I pulled her to me and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

I was recovered.

She was worth it.

I was worth it.

These mantras I chanted to myself in my head.

“Are you coming in first or are we leaving right away?” she asked me.

“Let’s do this!” I clapped my hands together psyching myself up. The morning air held a chill and I could see my breath as I walked up to the building.

“Hold up, one second.” She put her finger up signaling me to wait. I heard her bang around a little inside and when she returned, she had on aviators and a giant satin jacket in black with a red dragon on the back, a backpack slung over her shoulder and two steaming cups of coffee in regular mugs.

“Thanks!” I said taking mine. I took a sip and let the warmth slide through me. “No travel mugs, huh?”

“Travel mugs are for sissies,” she said. Madison raised her coffee high like she was toasting us and took off down the hallway toward the elevator leaving me to catch up. “Free coffee, Duke. Day three of the rest of your life,” she shouted over her shoulder.