Fragile Eternity (Wicked Lovely 3)
Page 34
He paused, weighing his words before telling her. “No. Not pleased, but I expect it of him. It’s not about what he did. Tell me what you want.”
“You.”
“Forever?”
“If there were a way.” She held tight to his waist like he was going to vanish if she let go. It hurt. His skin was mortal, and hers wasn’t. “There isn’t, though. I can’t make you this.”
“What if I want that?” he asked.
“It’s not something you should want. I don’t want to be this. Why would—” She slipped in front of him and looked up at him. “You know I love you. I love only you. If I didn’t have you in my life…I don’t know what I’m going to do when you”—she shook her head—“but we don’t have to think about this. I told him no when he kissed me. I told him that I love you, and he’s only my friend. I resisted him when I was mortal, and I’ll do it now.”
“But?”
“It’s like a pressure inside me sometimes. Like being away from him is wrong.” She looked desperate, like she wanted him to tell her the lies that she was trying to tell herself. “It’ll get easier with time. It has to. This being-a-faery thing is new. And his being unbound is new. It’s just…it has to get easier with time or practice or something, right?”
He couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. They both knew it wasn’t getting easier.
She looked down and lowered her voice, “I asked Donia…before. About you becoming this. She told me it was a curse, and she couldn’t do it, and neither could I…or Keenan. Keenan didn’t change me or the Summer Girls. Neither did Beira. That was something Irial did. It’s not something we can do.”
“So…Niall…”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She leaned into his embrace, but her words weren’t ones he wanted to hear. “But maybe it’s better this way. You getting cursed so we can be together isn’t cool. What if you hate me someday? Look at Don and Keenan. They’re stuck dealing with each other forever now, and they fight all the time. Look at the Summer Girls. They’ll wither away without their king. Why would I want that for you? I love you…and being this…My mother died rather than be a faery.”
“But I want to be near you always,” he reminded her.
“But you’ll lose everyone else, and…”
“I want forever with you.” Seth lifted her chin so he was able to look directly into her eyes. “The rest will fall into place if I can be with you.”
She shook her head. “Even if I didn’t think it was a bad idea, I can’t make it happen.”
“If you could…”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t want to have power over you, and I don’t trust Niall, even if he could…and…” She was getting more and more upset as she spoke. Sparks flickered from her body. “I do want you with me, but I don’t want to lose you. What if you were like the Summer Girls? Or—”
“What if I wasn’t? What if I die because some faery is stronger than me?” Seth asked. “What if you need me and I can’t be there because I’m mortal? Being only halfway in your world makes me vulnerable.”
“I know. Tavish says I should set you free.”
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“I’m not a pet to be released into the wild. I’m in love with you, and I know what I want.” Seth kissed her, hoping his emotions were as clear in his touch as he was trying to make them in his words. The sun sparks tingled against his skin—electricity and heat and some weird energy that mortal words couldn’t name.
Forever. Like this. It was what he wanted; it was what she wanted too.
He pulled away, half drunk on her touch. “Forever together.”
She was smiling then. “Maybe there’s another way. We can…Tell me we’ll be okay either way?”
“We will,” he promised. “We’ll figure it out.”
He kept one arm around her as they started walking again. It would be okay. The Summer King claimed that his objection was to Seth’s mortality, to his pulling Aislinn away from her court. If Seth were a true part of the Summer Court, there would be no room for objection—but even as he thought it, Seth knew it wasn’t that simple. It could be. He’d never wanted anything as much as he wanted forever with Aislinn. He just needed to find a way.
“Riverside?” She glimmered then, her entire body pulsing with sunlight, and he held on to her, his own fallen star. “There’s music tonight.”
He nodded. He didn’t ask how she knew: it called to her. Large gatherings of her faeries were like beacons to her now.
“Can we run?” In her eyes endless blue lakes were shimmering. She might claim to not like being a faery, but part of her liked some of it very much. If Aislinn could set aside her fear of who—what—she was now, she’d be happier.