Radiant Shadows (Wicked Lovely 4)

The room they entered was the same one where he’d sat and held her when she tried not to cry after the pain of the thistle-fey’s embrace. Irial had comforted her then. After the tests, he always stayed with her until she didn’t want to scream or weep anymore.

Tonight, Irial kept his distance from her, moving over to an elegant mahogany bookshelf overfilled with tattered paperbacks. He ran a hand absently over the well-read books as he lowered the wall around his emotions, exposing his sorrow and longing, but his back was to her, hiding his expression.

She prowled the room. The rainbow pleasure of earlier had faded, but her nerves were too jangled to stay still. She paused beside him.

He turned.

Tentatively, Ani slid her arms around his neck. “Gabriel knows you help me. We could help each other.”

He didn’t move, so she leaned closer. It wasn’t the first time she’d kissed him, but it was the first time she did so with the intention of taking more. Not even Gabriel would be fool enough to tell Irial that he couldn’t have her if the former Dark King was willing.

For a few too-brief moments, he kissed her back, but when she pressed her hips tighter against him, Irial took her by the shoulders and set her away from him. His look of disapproval was one that still sent much of the Dark Court scrambling and cowering. “That won’t happen, Ani.”

“Maybe it would if you’d let me try….” She could still taste dark chocolate on her lips, peat smoke in the air all around them. Irial tasted like sin, and she wanted more of it.

“No.” Irial sat on the sofa and patted the middle cushion.

She flopped down on the opposite end of the sofa and stretched her legs out so her feet were in his lap.

He gave her a half-amused look, but he didn’t tell her to move.

“So you’re going to be celibate or something?” She leaned back, letting the sofa envelope her, and flung an arm behind her so that it dangled over the arm of the sofa.

“No, but I’m not taking Gabriel’s daughter to my bed.” He lifted one of her feet and idly rubbed circles on the bottom of it with his thumbs.

Ani thought she could melt at the simple touch. “No one will take Gabriel’s daughter to bed, and I’m trying to follow the rules.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “No taking both emotion and touch from mortals. Or faeries. No sex until I’m sure I won’t kill them. No fighting with Hounds so they don’t kill me. No. No. No. What am I supposed to do?”

“Are you asking for advice?” He looked gentle now, revealing the side he never shared in public, the side he showed her when she was ill or weak. This was why Leslie had loved him, why Niall loved him still. Irial would do anything for his loved ones, especially now that he didn’t carry the responsibility of caring for the Dark Court. That kind of love was a once-in-a-lifetime thing; nothing should stand in the way when someone loved that intensely. Ani understood that, even if both her mortal friend, Leslie, and the new king were too daft to see it.

Ani couldn’t understand anyone refusing him: he was perfect. Okay, not perfect, but awfully close. That whole willingness-to-experiment-on-me thing isn’t fun, but mostly perfect. She’d had the worst crush on him growing up. Maybe still do a little bit. He had been the Dark King, the fiend that the nightmares feared. In her court, only Gabriel and Bananach were as terrifying.

“If advice is all you’re passing out, I’ll take it.” Ani pulled her foot out of his hands and extended the other.

He laughed but commenced rubbing.

“I’m suffering here.” She tilted her chin, widened her eyes, and let her foul mood show.

“Pouting doesn’t work on me, pup.” He pressed his thumbs harder into the bottom of her foot.

“It used to.”

“No, it just made you happy to think you could play me.” He ran a fingertip over her foot, taunting her with softness.

She pulled away and hugged her knees to her chest. “It’s ridiculous, Iri.”

“Gabe’s just worried about keeping you safe.” Irial reached out and squeezed her ankle. “The Vilas took the last batch of blood to a lab that specializes in nonmortal biology. If we can identify what you are, we can isolate your peculiar traits and—”

“It’s been months of tests,” Ani interrupted. “Just take some of it and do another ink exchange. I’m mortal enough to be bound to someone, and I am fey enough to feed. Instead of court tears, try my blood as the ink base. See if it works and—”

“No.” Irial squeezed her ankle tight enough that it was painful. “Niall prefers that we don’t do that. There is discord, and he can feed the court. If all else fails, my presence in his court and his anger at the Summer King and his frustration with Bananach upset him enough that he has emotion to spare. It isn’t a forever solution, but it buys us time.”

Ani rolled her eyes. Having an emotional king was proving useful to the faeries that needed to feed on emotions. That and the upheaval between the seasonal courts left the Dark Court nourished enough to survive—but not to

thrive. It didn’t help Ani’s other need though. “I need more, Iri.”

“Can you have unsupervised contact without weakening them? Without killing them? Without exposing what you are? Without endangering yourself ?” Irial’s gentleness was vanishing. “Tell me that you have the self-control to do so.”

She couldn’t lie, but she could avoid the question. “I don’t hurt you, and no one is here to stop me.”