He gave her a wry grin. “Sweetheart, I’m a Gancanagh again, and I have enough self-control to keep my emotions locked away from you when I need to. A mortal or a faery— even a strong faery—who lets you have both…”
Ani thought of him, the faery she’d met. It was just a brief flittering thought, but Irial caught her expression.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing really. He was fine… I mean, I think he was.” Ani licked her lips unconsciously and then realized what she’d done. She looked away.
“Who?”
“I don’t know. He wasn’t a weak faery though… and he seemed fine when he walked away.” Ani looked over at her former king. “He did walk away. No one saw, except Seth… and he wouldn’t expose me. I don’t think. Right? He wouldn’t?”
“Tell me.”
So she did. She told him every single detail about the faery she’d kissed at the Crow’s Nest, and then she added, “He vanished afterward.”
Irial said nothing for several moments. “He took your blood.”
“Yeah, I know, but I was half out-of-it. If he’s a problem, if he finds me and is a threat, I could… you know… not stop.” She pushed away the guilt at the thought of willingly killing the faery she’d met. She was Dark Court, and in the Dark Court, survival sometimes meant doing things that were unpalatable.
“If it’s unavoidable, you will do exactly that.” Irial’s words weren’t backed by kingship, but they both knew she’d obey him.
She folded her arms over her chest. “Hey, maybe I can be the permanent court punishment or a Trojan horse sent to the Summer Court to hurt the Summer King. ‘You’ll have to go kiss Ani, bad little faeries.’ Faeries, mortals, half- lings… If I sat in Niall’s place, I could feed the court. They could gorge. Would Niall hand the throne over if he knew? Or would he kill me so my monstrousness is—”
“Ani… stop. We’ll sort it out. I know you don’t want to kill anyone like that.” Irial paused, weighing the words even as his emotions drifted into sadness. “For some faeries, the tangling of affection and death is too personal. It’s not a flaw. Niall isn’t… he prefers…” The words started and stopped as the no-lying injunction interfered. Irial sighed. “Niall hasn’t always been comfortable with the consequences of being a Gancanagh. Our touch addicts mortals; yours drains them. The cost for them is ultimately the same.”
“And you?” Ani had wondered, more than a few times. Gancanaghs left mortals starving for affection, drove them mad with wanting and never being sated. Being Dark King made Irial safe for centuries, but now Niall was safe and Irial was once more addictive to mortals. And had been before. She held Irial’s gaze and asked, “Did you… were you okay with the ones you killed?”
“Sometimes.”
She swallowed against her dry mouth. “Oh.”
“For most of my life, I’ve led the court of nightmares, Ani. I’ve damaged the two people I’ve loved.” He let his emotions wash over her—sorrow, anger, but not regret. “I bound the Summer King, who was a friend’s son. I’ve ordered more deaths than I could count, done things too perverse to speak of.”
“Do you regret any of it?” she whispered.
“No.” Irial paused at a sound. Heavy footsteps crossed the floor, stopped outside the door, but then turned away. “I made the best decisions I could. I took care of my court. I still do. Sometimes that means killing people. My court— and now my king—come first.”
“I would do whatever my king ordered,” she assured him. “I’d rather not kill with this though. Give me a fair fight and—”
“I know.” Irial pulled her into his embrace, holding her carefully. “He wouldn’t like using your hunger as a weapon any more than you would.”
“You would. You still do the things Niall wouldn’t want to.”
Irial didn’t answer, but it wasn’t really a question. “We’ll figure it out. You’ll be strong and safe, Ani.”
She lifted her head and looked up at him. “Can I crash here for a few?”
“Keep your clothes on, and you’re welcome to stay.”
CHAPTER 10
Ani felt like she’d just drifted off when she woke to snarls.
“Are you completely without any sense?” Niall stood above her, scowling. On either side of him, abyss-guardians swayed and patted him consolingly.
She blinked up at him, trying to understand why the Dark King was angry with her, but before she could answer, someone else did.
“What difference does it make to you?” Irial sounded nonplussed. His arm stayed around her, keeping her still as he spoke.