Darkest Mercy (Wicked Lovely 5)

Donia made it as far as the foyer before the tears she’d held in check since he’d left started to flood her cheeks. He gave up on us. She hadn’t wept then. When he left, she’d accepted the news with no reaction. He didn’t want me when Ash was free. She turned her face to the wall and wept the tears she hadn’t shed in all this time.

“Tell me what you need.”

She didn’t have to look up to know that Evan was there, that he’d heard every word spoken outside her door, that he’d waited here in the house to console her and to protect her if she called for him. She reached out for his hand, and he pulled her to him.

“No one will judge you for your choices,” Evan said quietly.

She didn’t hide her tears from him. He was her friend. He’d known her when she was the Winter Girl, angry and bitter and lashing out at every one of Keenan’s guards she could.

“My Queen? What do you need?” he asked again.

“To not love the one faery I can’t be with?” She pulled away from Evan and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

For a moment, Evan was silent. His bark-covered skin made it difficult to read his expressions under the best of conditions, and in that moment, he was trying very hard to be unreadable.

“He still loves you,” Evan reminded her. “He cannot help but be who he is. When you weren’t his queen . . . that was the only time I’d seen him so broken by the test.”

“Yet the results are what they are. I am not his queen.”

Evan’s posture was as still as the trees he and his family resembled. “You cannot let your anger at him sway you from working with the Summer Court.”

Mutely, she laid a hand at the fold of his arm and let him lead her back to the now somewhat trampled garden. He remained silent as they crossed through her house and into the wintery paradise enclosed behind the building. A massive snow bear came over and sniffed her. Here, the creatures of her domain coexisted in peace because she willed it. As the bear lumbered off, apparently satisfied that all was well enough, Donia leaned against Evan. What they shared was not romantic, but he was her closest friend.

Resigned, Donia nodded. “I will work with his court because I do not want to see my court injured . . . or his.” She sat on one of the ice-carved benches. “I can see the value of allies, even though we are still the strongest of the courts.”

“Which means Bananach will strike us hardest or she will eliminate the others first. When we do not ally with her, she will see us as the threat we are.” Evan’s warm, woodsy scent comforted her as much as the cadence of his words did. Unfortunately, the import of the words was not soothing.

“You’re right.” Donia drew in the cold air. “While I see Niall, you will go to the veil and request an audience with the High Queen. It is her twin we must deal with; perhaps she has wisdom to aid us.” Donia held out a hand, palm up, to an arctic fox that eased toward her. “I am afraid that it is Irial whom Bananach has injured. Gabriel’s words . . . and silences . . .”

“That is what I inferred as well.”

The fox came to her hand, and she brought it to her lap

as she thought on Niall. They hadn’t been friends, not truly, as he’d had opposing interests for most of the time that they’d known each other. His former position as Keenan’s advisor had put them at odds. Not always. Even then, he’d assured her safety as best he could; he’d arranged “accidental” meetings with Keenan in hopes of fostering a friendship between them. Always a romantic. Absently, she stroked the white fox nestled into her lap. Why didn’t I fall for someone like him?

Donia wondered briefly if Niall knew she’d visited Leslie, the mortal girl he loved, if he knew she’d offered her friendship to the gir

l. No doubt Irial does. Whether or not Irial had told Niall remained to be seen.

Donia paused in petting the sleepy fox and frowned at Evan. “I am worried.”

“You are the Winter Queen. You are wise and able. Trust yourself,” Evan advised. “Unlike Dark and Summer, you have control of your emotions. Unlike the last Winter Queen, you are pure in intention. I serve the only regent who can lead us to peace.”

“You make me sound far more capable than I feel.” Rather than look at her advisor and friend, she resumed the comforting motions as the little fox fidgeted in her lap.

Evan touched her shoulder, and she looked at him then.

“I’ve been watching over you too long to be purely objective,” he said, “but I’m old enough—and now Winter enough—to know what’s truth. You helped give the Summer King the strength to rule his court. You stepped away from him for the good of our court. You are even now trying to figure out how to reach Niall. Your fey know what sort of ruler you are. That’s why so few winter fey have joined Bananach.”

Donia leaned her head on his shoulder. “Why are the ones who do leave the ones I can’t stop thinking about?”

“Because you are a good queen.” Evan wrapped an arm around her. “Even good rulers lose followers, though. I left Summer for Winter because of what I needed. Perhaps some of Bananach’s followers are seeking something they don’t find in their courts.”

“If that meant peace, I wouldn’t mind as much. I don’t want any of you to die.” She closed her eyes. “Be ready to go to Faerie at first light.”

Chapter 14

Niall found himself back in a dream again. Since Irial had been injured, the only time Niall felt anywhere near right was in his dreams.